#i could go there......in real life....right now (not really it is 7:30 pm)

[bread--quest]

[ID: A semi-realistic oil painting of a city street, from the perspective of someone standing on the sidewalk and looking down the road. There are street signs and cars parked along the curb. Trees planted at regular intervals along the road are flowering, suggesting that it's spring or summer. A few people sit in chairs in front of the closest building. End ID.]

Charles Cushing, Pear Tree at 13th and Pine Streets, Philadelphia, 2023, Oil on canvas

[autumnshowell]

6:30 PM

Teeth. Flashing in a dark space, glinting in the absence of light, they drive into the flesh on her neck, on her back. Her wrists. It hurts — God, it hurts. It goes beyond the hurting. Like somebody’s stuck a vacuum into her veins, drawing the essence of her out. It turns her hollow, empty.

Leaves her wanting.

There are eyes, too. Dark, deep little wells in the already dark space. They stare. They bore holes into her. She finds their lingering on her draws what blood is left in her to the apples of her cheeks. She finds herself wondering if they want to see her stripped to nothing, drained to nothing, or if they covet her the way she covets the face they rest in.

Monsters are real, she thinks, they’re real and they’re beautiful and one of them has haunted her thoughts, nigh uninterrupted, for a month now. Monsters are real and they’re beautiful and she’s in l-

“Autumn?”

Salt shaker.

“… Autumn.”

Grab it.

“Autumn!”

“Wh-oh, sorry.” She says, grabbing the little painted pilgrim and sliding it over in front of her mother’s plate. “I… I zoned out.”

“I wasn’t asking for the salt, Autumn, I asked a question.”

“I’m sorry, what was it, I-“

“Jesus, Autumn. I might as well be talking to myself.” “I’m sorry, I just… I’m tired, please, what were you asking?”

“Are you free next weekend? My hair lady, she’s got this son and he’s your age - she says he likes those horror movies like you do.”

“Mom I’m… no. No I’m not - I’m not… really down for that kind of thing. Not right now.’

Oh, God, she thinks to herself.

“Oh, come on - why not? Here, let me show you, he’s very good looking.”

Autumn leans her forehead onto her hand as her mother fumbles for her cell, taking an excruciating amount of time to hunt the photo down and moving to put it in front of Autumn. “I’m sure he’s handsome, mom, I’m just not really-“

“Like a young George Clooney.”

“I… don’t - I don’t think that has the appeal you’re thinking it does,” she protests, finally relenting to give the screen a look to get it out of her face.

“Autumn, just give him a shot - you never know.”

She sighs. “I’m busy next weekend because I already have plans.”

The phone finds its way to the table, mother’s interest piqued. “Who? Somebody you met through this new job?”

“No, I’ve… no I’ve been on …”

“Is that Kevin boy? The one who works at the bowling alley?”

“What, no - and Kevin doesn’t work at the b-“ Autumn feels her stomach drop and roll and knot.

Her mother’s teasing grin almost seems genuine in its giddy happiness. “Well, come on, spill. This is the first I’m hearing of this new boy friend-“

7:00 PM

Her knuckles are white on the wheel, not that she can see them enough to care as the occasional white-orange bands of street-lamps pass over where she’s holding on like she’s about to try to rip the wheel of the car right out of the dash. Her brows are knitted, half fury, half frustration as she speeds down the highway. She wonders, for a moment, what would happen if she just kept going. Got out of Port Leiry. Left everything and everyone in the town behind.

It’s an old fallback fantasy - a catharsis she’s often let herself fall into. Would people miss her? Certainly, at first, they’d lament it, but it wouldn’t matter, not long term. But she finds that it now makes her profoundly sad.

Kevin, Miss Moss. Hell, even A.J. Astor, so new in her life, and so endlessly frustrating. She’d miss it all. Part of her feels betrayed that she let this stupid town lay its roots in her the way it has.

But it’s the thought of Aria Boughton that makes her face go hot and her eyes slick up wet with the idea of loss.

What would it matter, though? Aria is a vampire - an immortal, undying thing, if movies and books stand up to scrutiny - Aria could find her.

Or she could go to Aria, and the two could grow old. She thinks of that Swedish vampire movie. Her morose frown breaks out into a grin at the scandalous imaginings of being a little old lady, taking care of Aria, ever young and beautiful. Grim, yeah, but it beats old and lonely - not quite the moral of the story, but she’s angry and pissed and sad and scared so who cares.

6:35 PM

“What are you telling me?”

The tone in her voice sets Autumn on edge. She feels an energy coiling in her joints.

“I’m telling you that the person I’m seeing, Her name is Aria, and we’ve been kind of dating. For like. Months now.”

Her mother’s face goes on a journey. A long, excruciating one - confusion, and then annoyance, and then a strange, uncomfortable sort of smile, as if waiting for the punchline to a joke.

“Are you telling me you’re… what, a lesbian?”

“N-no�� yes. No. Maybe. Probably.”

The expression goes vacant as her mother leans back from the dinner table, as if what’s on her plate has just been revealed to be toxic and poisonous. Autumn feels something swell in the pit of her stomach too, for a different reason.

“Why?”

“What does that mean, why? Because… because I lo-... because like her, mom.”

Her own mind rolodexes through a thousand reasons why. She doesn’t say any of them. Her mother looks like she wants to grab the table knife and stick it in her eye. The silence between them grows and grows and grows. Autumn, for her part, is searching her mother’s face, desperate to find any sign of approval, or even indifference. All she’s finding is the looming specter of the same thing that always lays its foundations there - contempt, disdain - disappointment and a hint of regret.

Her mother, for her part, stares anywhere but at her.

12:58 AM Port Leiry’s actually kind of pretty from up here. She sits on a picnic table, looking down on the city. It’s no New York, no Los Angeles. Hell, it’s not even Seattle. But it’s a pretty, shimmering little thing. She’s never come up here to Overlook Park this late. It’s not even supposed to be open, but nobody’s here to tell her no. Besides, Maybe one of the city’s famous animal attacks will make all of this moot - rip her up. Make her a Port Leiry mystery like Olivier.

She wipes her face on her sleeve - eyes, then nose, and sniffs at the night air, letting out a long, sad exhale.

Usually, when she feels this way. Like she’s disappointed somebody, she bottles it up. Keep it inside. Let it eat away at her. Her knuckles rap on the outside of her thigh with nervous energy. She’s so… so so tired of beating herself up because she can’t read minds, or because her step’s not light enough for all the eggshells she needs to walk on, or that she doesn’t exist right, or any other number of things that settle into her brain and tell her that she’s lesser for.

She wishes, for a split second, that she had half the spine required to explode instead of implode.

She thinks about the animal attacks - knowing what she knows now. What if that was a vampire thing? They have clubs - she learned that in the hardest way possible -  but maybe some of them hunt out at night.

The idea that Olivier might have been shredded by a vampire makes some unhinged part of her break out into a half cry, half laugh - like it would have been something he would have been all in on or something.

But then that little bit of morbid thought rolls over into something else - something she dwells on for a moment. She gets her phone out, starts typing…

1:00 am >> [ hey, do you think you could make me like y]

She stops, stares at the letters. No. This isn’t something she should ask over a fucking text message. It’s night time. Aria’s a vampire. She’ll be awake, surely.

1:01 am >> [ can I come over? ]

She deletes that, too - suddenly worried that Aria will somehow expect the question. Preemptively tell her no. Fuck it. She’ll drive to her apartment.

She slides off the bench - grabbing her keys, and heads back to the empty car lot, full moon making it light enough that she doesn’t even need to use the light on her phone.

6:40 PM

“You’re doing this to punish me, aren’t you?”

Autumn stares, a look on her face that’s as confused as it is hurt. “What?”

“To embarrass me. To throw it in my face and embarrass me. To make a big show of yourself with this. You’ve decided, for whatever reason, that I’m the worst, and you’re doing this to punish me.”

“I’m not… I’m not doing anything.”

“You’re playing around with another woman! That’s not doing nothing!”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“You’ve just decided that I’m your enemy, ever since the day your father died you have done everything you can to just throw it in my face that I’m a bad parent. That I’m this ogress. You throw any help I give you back in my face-“

“No I don’t! What do you-“

“And now this - now this… behavior.”

“Mom, I… it’s - I…”

“Just go, Autumn. I can’t do this right now.”

“Mom, why can’t you just once see something I’m doing for myself and be-“

“What, be proud? Of what? My gay daughter, who didn’t finish school, whose professional career involves a Bowling Alley? What, that you’re never going to give me grandchildren? That you’re… whatever this thing is? What, that you’re finally being honest, Autumn, that you’re sticking it to me for letting this happen to you? Congratulations.” She stands up, moves to the counter, pours herself a glass - it’s the first of the evening, so Autumn, face sinking, knows this is all real. “Please - get out, I can’t with you right now.”

1:32 AM

Maybe this is stupid. Maybe she should just go home - get sleep. Rethink things. She can go see Aria tomorrow, or the next day. There’s something that changes in her as she pulls down along the sloping road that leads from the Overlook Park and onto the freeway that leads back.

She looks to the holder where her phone is mounted to her dashboard when she hears her phone chirp. A text message, this late? Her heart jumps, thinking it’s Aria. More likely, it’s A.J., calling in a ride, but as she goes to look at the notification, her expression sours. It’s from her mother. Her face screws up, halfway between fury and unsurprise. Her grip on the wheel loosens, then tightens as she turns around a bank in the road.

“Fuck you.” She murmurs in the dark. “Make up your fucking mind.”

She’s about to leave it alone, but then the creeping desire to bury the hatchet, to be the one who makes nice early, wraps its fingers around her mind and Autumn decides otherwise, reaching over swipe the phone open, but while she’s trying to jab the voice-to-text button, she keeps missing her mark, and so she turns her eyes away for just long enough to find it.

When she turns back, something darts across the road. She doesn’t hit it, but she does swerve, enough to hit the guardrail at just the right angle. The wheels leave the ground. The hood spins down, and she sees the ground through the windshield; first asphalt, then sky, then earth. Autumn feels the lurch, followed by the weightlessness, and a thousand and one thoughts go through her mind in that same split second. Something hits her face, dead center on her nose.

It’s not a steep drop, but it is a long one, and the car hits the ground and all those thoughts go dark.

[probablygayattorneys]

Blog update

For the past year or so, this blog has posted twice a day. Once at a random time between 6:30-7:30 AM MST and once at a random time between 11:30 AM-12:30 PM MST.

Starting tomorrow, this blog will post once a day at noon MST exactly.

I am going to explain why below but before I do, I'm going to TW for really, really serious mental health issues so... just stop reading if you're not up for that.

I am not well.

It is probably obvious from how absolutely off the wall some of my posts have been that my brain doesn't work like most people but I don't think anyone understands the full extent of just how broken my brain is.

Even my doctors don't agree. Give me a mental disorder, I've probably been diagnosed with it at least once. Autism. Depression. Bipolar. ADHD. BPD. CRSD. GAD. I've got the whole fucking can of alphabet soup in my bowl, but nobody really knows.

What we do know is that during June, at the same time my dad got diagnosed with cancer (don't worry, I didn't even know stage 0 cancer was a thing but apparently they caught it so early they just did a tiny little surgery and now they think he's completely cancer free) my depression hit hard. Legitimately, so bad that I was officially declared disabled by it to keep me on my parents' insurance since I turned 26 in August.

The only song that I can even think of that comes close to trying to describe how I feel is the song Autoclave, by The Mountain Goats. Embedded below if you'd like to listen.

We've done everything. I have a therapist I see weekly. I did a sleep study. I have a psychopharmacologist who has prescribed me enough medications that I could probably not just tranquilize an elephant but also cure the tiger's depression, stabilize the lion's mood, and hook up the ringmaster with some real good shit. We spent 5000 dollars to try an experimental ketamine treatment that insurance didn't cover at all. I've done ECT. I got desperate enough that I tried to turn to religion, I went to a Catholic church just because it was the only denomination open at 3 PM on a Tuesday and I sat in that pew and I prayed for an hour that God would send me someone, just that someone would sit down and say "you seem troubled, child" and nobody fucking came. Then one night I prayed so hard I literally cried, begging God to send me something, some kind of sign, literally anything, to keep going, and the next day my cat knocked over one of my decks of tarot cards and every single card fell face down except the death one. So. There's that. That's only one thing left that I haven't tried, and that's where they're going to take my blood and then sequence my DNA and try and figure out what medication my body would react best to, and I hope that it works because I've been struggling with suicidal ideation since I was 6 and... even if I am a phoenix, I'm getting real fucking tired of rising from the ashes. Everything we've tried is just a fucking cul-de-sac of misery. I have fallen into this rut and I can't get unstuck and this is the worst I've ever felt in my entire life, I'm upset and angry at everything from my grandpa, for dying before I was before so I never got any memories of him, to my cat for not letting me eat in peace, but none moreso than at myself for feeling this way when it is absolutely no one's fault that any of this is happening. The only peace I know is when I'm in a heavily medicated sleep and I can dream all night of freedom but then I wake up but I never wake up free. If you cannot relate to this, then I sure hope you pick a deity and thank them for your luck.

So, what does any of that have to do with the format of this blog changing?

Well, it's simple. I'm not funny anymore. There were times I had 200+ posts in my queue. Right now I have less than 80.

Sometimes, I still have some spark of inspiration (though most of the time it's really more my brother just made another stupid video edit) but the fact of the matter is that I'm just... I'm not producing anything worth a damn thing at the rate things have been posting. This is the only thing I can try to do to make it last a little bit longer while I hope for a miracle because every second of every day I am in pain, it hurts just being awake, like, I am in an agony that most of you probably can't even fathom.

And, well, if it gets to eighty days from now, and there's no more posts, and no more updates... Well, you'll know what happened. I hope you also know that I'm sorry that I couldn't step out of the shadow of my great catastrophe, but I also hope you know that I really, really did try my goddamn hardest.

[pastramimommy]

Pre-long distance convo 7/30/23 5:30 pm

I've been reflecting/spiraling about our conversation in KC and the general future of our relationship for the last week, and have sought out advice from friends, family, and strangers in our situation.

My comments about using our time wisely and efficiently, are just outright uncalled for and I just need to leave it be at this point. You know that this is one of the biggest ways to show me love and I really don't need to remind you. I've never really given you the opportunity to show me this in action so I will try to go with the flow more, trusting that you are doing everything in your power to stay on top of your plans and scheduling.

Upon reflecting on that specific situation at the bars, I still believe I have the right to express my feelings about what I called you out for, I just need to present it to you more effectively. I should have waited till we were not in front of your sister/friends and I should have said it more calmly and with less fiery language. Like I said earlier, I wasn't mad about those situations, I just said everything on my mind exactly as the thoughts were forming, which is not ideal, but I still want you to hear that you could do something differently. And the intention is not to make you feel inadequate, but like how we approach sex, there is always room for improvement. I know I cannot say something to you about every little thing that bothers me, and picking which battles are worthwhile is something that I will have to practice. If there is a way that you think we could better address these situations please tell me.

From my conversations with my mom and from podcasts I've been listening to, I realized that most of the stress about our relationship I've imposed on myself from thinking to far into the future too much. All of my fears stem from the thought of losing my autonomy to make certain decisions in my life because it will be dictated by your career, and if things were not to work out, the entire trajectory of my life will have been altered but nothing in your life will be changed at all. I am not telling you this to make you feel stressed or bad for me, I just want you to understand where I am coming from. None of these are reflection of how you make me feel, they are a reflection of how the situation makes me feel. I know your fear is that I will resent you for all the sacrifices that I have to make, but genuinely I am happy to move because I want to be with you. I cannot resent you if you allow me to make decisions with you and respect my non-negotiables when your situation allows. Like the conversation about living together, I hear your side and I will work with you, but please show me that commitment and sacrifice when you can. While these things will still be real and valid for me to think about, I now know it just isn't healthy for me to dwell on them. I cannot worry about what will happen in 3 years when I have things that I can be doing to benefit us today.

In terms of effort and needs being met, I have also come to terms with the fact that our requirements are going to change over the years (and maybe even months) because we will be in different situations every year (long distance vs living near each other vs living together; M1/M2 vs M3/M4 vs residency). I understand that the current situation requires you to lean on me a little more and I accept that and am excited to do so. I really do have to be okay with you coping with your stress however you do so and genuinely putting myself on the back burner. This will be an era of our relationship that will be 60/40 but that is normal in relationships. All that I ask is that you can be the 60 in times when I need you ex) when I move to KC and starting a new job, starting school, etc) Part of the work I need to do is discern which stressors I can bring to you vs others. I don't want to feel like I can't share my stressors with you because you are too busy for them, so finding that balance will be my challenge. One of the pieces of advice I got was to not sweat the small things, which is so simple but makes sense, we have such little time together so it is not worth wasting it talking about silly qualms.

I know my greatest challenge will be making sure that I respect my boundaries. Me knowing the difference between me being 60/40 for a season of our lives vs me being 75/25 consistently and telling myself that it's okay bc "he's just busy" is something that I am genuinely nervous about. This is my fear about "trying your best" because even though I know that it is truly the most that you can give, it is subjective and gives you the space to theoretically do whatever you want as long as you say it's your best. Not saying this is what you will do by any means, but it does make it easier for me to let things slide if that makes sense. As long as at every life dinner, you can look at me and genuinely tell me that you tried your best every month, I will be satisfied. This is painful to say, but both of us have to be okay with walking away if we know that we are consistently not giving/receiving what we deserve.

My expectations and requests are as follows:

-Text me when you wake up and when you go to sleep (esp when you go out). Don't feel pressured to text me back during the day, esp if we are having a conversation with multiple text streams. I'd rather have you wait a little longer to respond so you can give me a quality response.

-Express that you love me in some way through text since that will be the primary form of communication

-No requirement on facetime frequency is needed. I'd rather just request to FT as needed and schedule it. I will call you at random points in the day if I have a moment, but I totally understand if you can't answer. You can do the same if you want.

-For scheduling/making plans, I'll try to present the plan to you with the possible dates and a deadline for you to let me know if required by the situation. I will not nag you until the deadline is reached.

[xcookedxchroniclesx]

Here is a photo of Lil Peep Live At Rolling Loud Bay Area 10/22/2017 that I edited myself in Samsung Gallery and used a Text On Photo App for his name.

Lil Peep has had an impact on my life as well as many many others. His music was perfect for my heavy using days to keep the vibe nice and easy to deal with. I was just on weed when I discovered him a year after his death before "Come Over When You're Sober Pt.2" was released. I went on my Lil Peep journey as high as he was in the order of his official releases. I was at my own 16 lines when that song was released officially, but it was one Hollywood Line of meth that could have been broken down into 16 little lines. That obviously lead to "Vertigo", it saved my life when "Vertigo" was released because I was in vertigo and that was how I realized what it really was and began to devise a plan to come down nice and easy. I couldn't be sober without experiencing crippling anxiety and had to get high again. I heard a noise/hip-hop album, not one with music. It was so cool to hear him rapping those lyrics over noise because it was just the most fucked up album I ever heard.

But then talking to my group chat about the album I realized that they didn't hear the same one that I did and I realized that I was just ungodly high. I got my best friend to put me through some emotional stuff about her coming to live with me with her kid and thinking of helping out with Kamilia made me realize that I can't be high to do that and it made its way into my brain to the place that said I can't be sober and got through to it to try to be sober for the kid. The day I finally fell asleep enough to come down I saw the light was looking different and right before I fell asleep I saw the sun beam become visible and I heard loud gangster ass music start up and someone started yelling at me "you better not fucking go to sleep you little bitch!" so I just touched the floor and said "game point" and went to slumber for the weekend. It was Friday and i woke up at 3:00 pm on Saturday for 30 minutes to shit, shower, have some food and a few smokes and return to bed and repeated the same routine on Sunday and woke up around 7:00 am Monday morning in time to help out get my friend/roommate's kids to school feeling refreshed and much more sober and able to feel sobriety peacefully.

I didn't mean to get so involved in the drugs and I'm sure neither did Lil Peep in the beginning and writing about his drug use helped him handle it better and not lose total control to the drugs.

I still used afterwards but I was more conscious about my using and not going overboard and I devised a plan to lower my dose from the high dose I was on to a fraction of what it was so that I could quit when I wanted to with as little side effects and cravings as possible. There always will be side effects to long term drug use and definitely cravings if you've used daily for years like I did but it worked out pretty well and now I'm at the ass end of my life on meth and it's within my grasp to just let go of it altogether and live a sober life once again and take my life back.

It's been one fucked up journey since I was pulled into the drug world and I handled myself as best as I could in a life that I knew nothing about that wasn't in music I listened to. But Lil Peep made it pretty enjoyable and helped me save myself at the absolute worst my addiction ever got and for that I thank that young man for his contributions to music, he changed the game for real. He impacted so many lives that it's unreal.

[manifesting-mari]

Morning Pages 1/20/2023

I usually do my morning pages after my meditation and prayers, but today  the voices in my head are so loud that i wanna let them talk. Theres a part of me thats starting to worry, just like 1%, that im undiagnosed and should be seeking some kind of mental health help. And i do have a therapist, but id ont have the money right now to pay for an appointment. I feel very much ungrounded and in my head. Maybe this is why meditation is so important. It allows me to connect with my body and not be swimming with all the thoughts inside of me. I really feel very cerebral right now. It could also be that i dont have cannabis. I do have canna bis but in edible form, i wonder what it would be like to take an edible before my meditation and prayers.

Its a nice day today. Im thinking about taking an edible and going to my meditation and prayers at the beach. Or maybe i’ll do my meditation and prayers at home and then just go for a walk. It si friday today, so i’d like to make sure that i’m not on the roads by 3 pm today. I dont wanna be in any traffic. 

I can feel so many thoughts swimming around in my head that i cant really land on just one. The one thats coming forward is this version of myself that wants to do things and be productive, whose value is placed in her ability to show accomplishments. But theres another one holding her hand. It the part of me that knows that in the grand scheme of things the accomplishments and productivity are not definitions of the value I have as a person. I was gonna type that they dont matter, but in a way they do. I want to feel productive and accomplished in certain areas of my life because it helps me feel better and brings me closer to a version of myself that is able to enjoy life more fully. 

I think about all the different things im into right now. Pole, tarot, comedy. I feel like there’s something there that wants to be integrated all together. I keep getting this inkling that i need to mix my comedy and psychic abilities. Maybe i just need to try things and let them grow. I’m grateful I can be weird and do things people dont expect. I know in my heart that i’m doing something that no one else has done before. I know i\that i am a connection to this divine creation and its speaking through me. Maybe i need to do less manipulation and more surrender. Ahhhh the surrender part is always scary for me. I have a hard time trusting. Trusting myself, trusting the universe. I wonder what can help me with these trust issues.

I’m also noticing now the part of me that feels tired. It feels drained and wants more sleep. I went to be around 1:30 and woke up at 8. Thats 7 hrs. Maybe i need more. The feeling i have now is the same sleepy feelings i get in some of my lucid dreams. When im moving around in my dream but still feel so tired. I think that means theres n=more subconmcious rest and healing that needs to be tended to. 

Im nto sire what i’m tying now but i’m just letting myself types. Idk. i enjoy typing and writing. I think i have some interesting shit to say. Like, i’d buy my own album. Maybe thats why no one is about my shit. Am i even about my shit. I am. I’m really about me. I stand for me and i’d go to bat for me. I see me and i have so much more compassionf or myself now than i did before. I see the ways i am doing my goddamn best and i am proud of the work i’m doing. I’m grateful to have amazing people in my life to point that all out to me. I’m grateful to be able to be myself in my fullest expression, whatever that means. I get to be exactly who i am now. What a privilege. I get tp be authentic and real and honest with myself and with others. If i’m not sure or if i dont know i wont lie or i wont tell stpories to seem more interesting. If i catch myself starting to embellish i’;ll stop and take a beat and think, is this a real thing i want to share or do i just wanna amke myself seem more whatever in order for people to like me

I liek being liked. Its the validation for me. I need to remind myself that i am valued for my aiuthticity and honesty. I am valued for my honesty and realness. Thats what i like about myself. I want to become softer. I wnat to be less aggressive and be softer and more patient and loving with myself and others. Allow myself to be imperfect. Allow myself to be. Even when writing this i wanna go back and edit it. Fix all the grammar mistakes and mispellings. But i’m trying not to. I wanna let this just be. Just let the mistakes happen. Feel the crunchiness in all of it. See where i can be more present and more grounded in this experiment we call life. 

To be honest, thirty years feels liek a lot and a little at the same thing. Like when you think about it, for the first like 2 to 4 years youre not even conscious. Like, there are no memories at all. And from 4 - 10 youre still trying to get all the social and motor skills to be a basic human being. And then from 11-25 youre body is changing and growing and you have all these hormones and things are constantly and quickly shifting. And then your late 20’s hit an dyoure finally waking up to what being a human adult is and feels like. So you hit your thirties and its liek youre a toddler again. Especially in a spiritual and emotional sense, i feel like i’m just getting the hang of this shit. 

I keep hearing from my older firends that 40 is much more fulfilling and enjoyable than your 30’s. And that how i feel about my 30’s compared to my 20’s. And maybe thats just because i have people in my life who live very intentionally. I think its time for me to start living inteltionally. I intend to live a healing life filled with growth and expansion. I intend to live a life where integration and compassion are the foundation of my relationship with myself and others. I intend to live a life that facilitates joy and creativity. When i types the growth and expansion thing, i felt something inside of me. I felt a part of me thats scared of expansion. Thats scared to take on responsibility. That doesnt trust myself to treat this new things with intentionality and care. Maybe its the growth and expansion i dont need right now. Maybe i intend to live a healing life filled with compassiona nd joy. That feel really good. An di think the growth and expansion is a side effect of the compassion.

I’ve been using these words a lot, especially compassion. Simply because i never really felt that from myself. I could see how other people were compassionate with me, but i was still in the oppressed and oppressor mode within myself. Any part of me that feels oppressed will be embraced with love and care. Any part of me that wants to fight and be aggressive will be embraced with love and care. I am grateful these parts of me are here. The oppressed part deeply empathizes with the pain in the world and inspired grounded me to make choices where i can shift away from those cycles and instead place more love and healing into the world. The aggressive part of me sees the important of standing in my truth and not feeding back into the negative cycles. I forgive the parts of me that fed into the cycles. I forgive the parts of other that feed into the cycles. We are all coping. 

It hurts when i choose to be compassionate and i meet with someone who is in their aggression. I can empathize with the aggression, but choos enot to act on it. I would usually act on it. I still do have some repressed anger that has difficulty coming forward. Or maybe i’m just not really an angry person. When i am honest and authentic and i speak my truth and i have people around me who can hold space and validate my feelings, the aggression is able to be massaged out, rather than exploding like it did in the past. I am ashamed that that happened but i have so miucih love for those parts of me that didnt know any better.

Now i know better. Now i know my body is truly in charge. My nervous system hold the key to lots of these mysteries about myself. I wanna grab that book, the body keeps the score. I can fele the tension around my neck and body. I think there is guilt that is still stored there. I can feel the energy reserves around my stomach and neck. Its like my body developed these storage units to safe the energy for when i truly need it, and maybe it now. Maybe now is the time i truly need to start transmuting the energy in my stomach into something else. 

Im looking forward to my meditation and prayers now. Im gonna do them at home cause its so comfy in my bed right now. What am I transmuting? That will be the question. And i wonder if i need to be conscious of the transmuting. Will my body do it by myuselkf and iu need to just give it rest, care, and compassion. My body heals itself, i am the facilitator. How do i facilitate this healing? What space do i need? What food do i need? What do i need to provide myself to facilitate the healing. I just need to be present for myself and be present for my experience. What i am feeling and what i am going through is real and valid and i understand that i cannot force or change the path i’m on. That is unsustainable. I am the one to bring ease and joy into the work that my body knows it needs to do. I am grateful to know myself in this way. I want my body to be strong and healthy so we can keep facilitation for ourselves and in the future, for others.

[brooooswriting]

can i request angst with happy ending with scarlet x reader. maybe they’re fighting and scarlet says something mean to reader that hurts her and she instantly regrets it. they almost break up with reader thinking she’s not good enough but they fix it and make up

I’m sorry

Pairings: Scarlett Johansson x reader, Elizabeth Olsen x reader (platonic), Kate Foster x Scarlett Johansson (platonic)

You were proud of what you did, you really were, being a baker was all you ever wanted. It took you a while to realize as you started college 3 times for different masters and also started some other things. Your family wasn’t the proudest but hey, you did what you love.

So when you met the Scarlett Johansson and she started to flirt with you you just couldn’t believe it. But it was real. So she asked you on a date and another and that is how you end up here. You guys have been dating for 6 months now and normally it was pretty perfect.

But at the moment Scarlett was always at the office and while you were genuinely happy that she was doing so good you didn’t think that it was necessary to miss 14 out of 14 dates in the last 3 weeks.

You understood the first couple of dates but at some point you were done so you confronted her, which led to now. Both of you screaming at each other not even trying to solve the problem anymore.

“Scarlett, I’m not saying you should stop working or anything like that I’m just saying that I want to have a bit of time with you” you said annoyed.

“Well, I’m sorry Y/n but this isn’t how it works” she screamed from the other side of the room. You hated this, you were going in circles again and again, you tried to explain your point, she told you this isn’t how it works and that’s it.

“I know how it works I’m just saying” Scarlett didn’t even let you finish. “No you don’t Y/n! You’re a baker and you’ve barely finished anything in your life. You don’t even have the right to complain about this! So no you don’t know how leading a company works and this company is worth more than your stupid dates!” She screamed and you froze.

You’ve always been insecure about being with her while being just a baker but she told you it was fine. Seems like it wasn’t and you were right all along. That doesn’t mean it didn’t break your heart. And you always thought she liked your dates, they were your way of showing affection but you never meant to seem clingy.

“Y/n… I” this time you interrupted her, “I gotta go, I’m sorry” you were quick to grab your purse and the jogger you always left at her house for comfy nights before running out of the door to your car.

While you were running out and driving god knows where, Scarlett was still shocked from what she did or rather what she said. The worst thing was that she didn’t even mean it, she loved your dates and she was so proud of you for following your dreams but the last couple of weeks have been stressful. She didn’t even noticed that she was neglecting you and she felt terrible for blowing up on you.

You sat in your car with tears streaming down your face trying to figure out what to do or where to go. After a while you decided to text Elizabeth.

Y/n: Hey, I think Scarlett and I broke up… wanna do something tonight? :/

Elizabeth: So sorry to hear that hun, how about getting drunk and partying?

Y/n: at 7 pm at mine?

Elizabeth: see ya there :)

You knew this wasn’t the healthiest way to cope but you really needed it and you could tell Lizzie all about what happened.

The two of you actually met through Scar, they came into the bakery and something between you two just clicked. Not like a romantic way but you were best friends immediately.

So you sat next to Lizzie in a bar at 7:30 pm telling her what happened. “And then she said I didn’t know how it is to own a company and that I never finished anything and that my dates are stupid and annoying. I just wanted more time with her…” the last part was barely a whisper and was drowned in a shot you took immediately after.

“I’m so terribly sorry to hear that, but maybe you guys can fix it again huh? Did you break up officially or are you just guessing?” She asked while wrapping an arm around your shoulder. She liked Scarlett but she loved you and what Johansson said to you was definitely out of pocket and made her really mad. But being the good friend she is she didn’t wanna show it and decided to rather be supportive of whatever decision you were going to make.

“I don’t know, I just disappeared after what she said but it’s clear she doesn’t want to spend time with me right? So why should I go back to her” you stated before downing the next shot and standing up to pull Elizabeth onto the dance floor. “Let’s dance and forget about her please” you told her and started to let loose.

While it probably would have been smart to stay with the two shots, you certainly didn’t. You flirted around on the dance floor drinking every drink someone offered you. Looking back that was extremely stupid to take a couple of pills before but you wanted to forget about the feeling of not being enough and you wanted to forget about the guilt that build in your stomach and if this was the only way it would be fine with you. You definitely were sorry for Liz but it was to much at the moment.

Well, now you were sitting in front of the club throwing up, feeling dizzy and barely noticing anything. Lizzie pulled you out of the crowd when she saw your state. “Y/n, hun, what’s wrong? Can I help you in any way?” You shook your head before throwing up again and loosing your consciousness.

The oldest Olsen sister panicked but quickly called an ambulance. When it arrived they put you in the car and drove you to the hospital to take a better look at you and do some blood work. They didn’t let Elizabeth into the car as she wasn’t family or married to you.

In the ambulance they found your phone and opened your emergency contacts, calling the first one.

“Y/n, I’m so glad you’re calling. Look, I’m sorry for what I said, I…” Scarlett started but was interrupted when a man on the other side of the line spoke up.

“I’m sorry this is frank smith from the NYC Health + hospital. A woman, Elizabeth, called us as the patient went unconscious in front of a club. You’re her first emergency contact.” The man explained leaving Scarlett shocked.

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes” she answered.

And she was but by now Olsen was already in front of your room pacing up and down. She flipped when she saw Scarlett. “How dare you turn up here, huh? Who do you think you are coming here like this isn’t your fault?!” She screamed standing in front of her.

“This isn’t your business Olsen! Now move out of my way” Scarlett growled trying to shove past her. “No, you hurt her, you said things you KNEW were going to hurt her but you still did. You neglected her like she was worth nothing and now here we are! In front of her hospital room, hoping that she survives after taking pills and washing them down with alcohol!!” Tears were running down both of their faces. Elizabeth was so mad and scared that she couldn’t keep her tears in while Scarlett was so scared and felt so guilty that she was sobbing by now.

“I’m sorry ok? I didn’t mean to say all those things and I didn’t even mean those. I love her alright?” She mumbled.

“I’m sorry are you here for miss Y/l/n?” A doctor asked making Scar nod. “So, it seems like Y/n took a couple of pills and mixed them with a lot of hard alcohol. We had to get it out of her system but she should be fine in like a day or three. After we did the last check up then she can go home, but you can go in if you want” she explained before disappearing into the hallway.

Scarlett and Elizabeth walked into the room gasping when they saw your lifeless form. Scar ran to you and gabbed your hands gently kissing them while mumbling ‘I’m so sorry’. Lizzie only sat back praying for you to be okay.

After two days you started to wake up while Scarlett got something to drink. “Hey, hey you’re alright hun” Olsen said as she sat down next to your bed and brushed the hair out of your face. Tears of joy were running down her face again which you gently wiped. “I’m sorry for scaring you like that, I just I don’t know. I guess in my drunk head I thought this was going ti make it better” you explained.

“It’s alright, but I gotta warn you real quick. Scarlett is here, they called her as she was your emergency contact. She stayed here the last two days…” a second later Scarlett came inside.

She gasped when she saw that you’re awake. “Oh my gosh, you’re awake, I was so worried and I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t…” her words were cut off as she started to sob while hugging you but you didn’t move.

“Y/n, come on, please talk to me… I know I fucked up but I promise to make it better just let me…” she started again but this time you interrupted her. “Lizzie can you leave us alone for a moment?” You asked her causing her to nod and leave the room.

“I don’t know if this is gonna work” you said as you looked her straight in the eyes. “Babe, come on. I know I said terrible things and that I hurt you and I’m so stupid. I was really stressed and mad at myself for not giving you enough attention. But I talked to Kate and I’ll be taking of the next two weeks just to spend them with you, I thought I could help out at your amazing bakery” she rushed out holding your hand in hers.

“You don’t have to, I know you don’t like the bakery and that you love your jobs. It’s not like…” it was her time to interrupt you. “I don’t hate the bakery, I actually really like it and enjoy being there. Without it I may have never met you. And yeah I love my job. But Y/n I love you so much more and I feel terrible for neglecting you! Please let me make it up to you” she said before kissing your cheek.

“You don’t have to do that. We can just break up. I won’t tell the media anything about it” you weren’t sure if she was being truthfully or just wanted to look good in the media.

“I don’t give a fuck about the media or anything like that. The only thing I’m interested in is fixing what I broke. So please?” You nodded causing her to squeal and hug you tight.

“So you love me huh?” It was the first time she said it and it made your heart melt. “I do, a lot actually” she said softly kissing your lips. “Well, in that case I love you too” this time you kissed her lips and pulled her next to you on the bed.

After you were finally released you and scar drove to her house where you ordered food and watched all of Scarlett’s movies which kind of was your revenge. You cuddled all day and went to the bakery the next day.

Scarlett apologized a lot of times and spent a lot more time with you and even helped you at the bakery every other day. So yeah, sometimes relationships are rocky but it doesn’t always have to be bad. Sometimes it makes them even better.

I really hope you like this and that all of you have a great day :)

[alluringjae]

queen of hearts - sjn

summary: for the first time, one of your star students hasn’t been fetched right after class. but when she finally does, you weren’t expecting such a fine man to be her father.

pairing: johnny x female reader

word count: 5.5k

genre: fluff, romance, comedy | ceo and single dad!johnny + ballerina!reader + modern day!au

warnings: mentions of an absent parent, johnny being an overthinker, sexual innuendos (ten saying dilf hehe), slight explicit language, technical terms of ballet, a mini reference to mean girls

author’s note: sooo i came in touch with my former dance life, which led me to write this. there are links for the variations i used; their names are underlined when they’re mentioned. i am going to get technical with ballet terms here (even when my ballet knowledge decreased), so to any dancers reading, i really did my best, so please don’t come for me or do correct me for any mistakes.

although one character and her dance background, plus the name of the setting, are real, everything else about it is still a work of fiction.

i miss dancing, no cap.

leave me some feedback, constructive criticism or hellos!

Ballet student and teacher by day, a soloist of the Korean National Ballet at night.

This was your daily routine, and it wasn’t the typical 8-5. But it’s debatable whether or not it was worse, because you’re always going overtime. That’s the thing when you’re an overachiever. Nonetheless, you loved what you do. It’s the lifestyle you gradually built since your preschool days.

Mornings on the weekdays were mostly vacant since all the kids were still in school. You’d start at 10 am for a warm-up class for the company. Before you delved into teaching and assisting, you’d train right after your lunch break. Partnering class, en pointe class, 1-on-1 sessions with choreographers, self-practice, then the company night class, that’s the organization of your week.

Now adding the teacher title, you mostly handled kindergartners to 5th graders in the academy aspect of the company. Your first teaching class would start at 1 pm. It’s when the younger students who finished their morning classes zoom into your assigned dance studio. One class would last an hour and a half, then you have a 30-minute break in between another class with the older kids. Their lesson repertoire was more strenuous due to the added across-the-floor lessons and jumps. Water was always your best friend, water refilling stations located everywhere in the company building.

You wouldn’t say you’re a strict teacher, but you weren’t shy to correct anyone from wherever you stood. You’d lightly align their arms or back properly so your students were working on the correct body parts. Compared to the other teachers, a lot of students enjoyed your kind yet frank approaches. Your former students, who’ve already gone to the higher levels, missed your lively presence and wished repeatedly that they want you back as their teacher.

“Teacher (Y/N), I miss you so much! Teacher Ten is so intense. I get the jitters especially when we’re en pointe on the floor.”

“Teacher (Y/N), Teacher Sicheng and Teacher Seulgi scare the heck out of me during partnering class. Especially when I tried to lift my partner, I keep losing focus because of Teacher Sicheng’s never-ending comments!”

Not to be sadistic, but you’d simply laugh at their minuscule complaints. Even if they’re struggling in the academy, those comments were directed to fix their techniques if they wanted to breakthrough.

“Kids, you’re going to be fine! They wouldn’t say or do those things just because they wanted to. They’re here to push you to the next level, like how I used to do with you. It’s a cut-throat industry after all.”

This was always your reply, bittersweet and truthful. Not everyone makes it, unfortunately, so if you’re really striving, you’d do whatever it takes. Throughout your career, you’re relatively impressed with how far you’ve come.

Trainee at 17, Corps de Ballet at 18, Demi-Soloist at 21, and Soloist at 23.

You’ve been a soloist for 4 years. The final stage, which was to become a principal dancer, is your running goal. Becoming a soloist was praiseworthy enough because you’ve seen so many give up in the Corps, but claiming a spot as a principal dancer has been the ultimate dream. Since you’ve watched Swan Lake for the first time at 4 years old with your parents, that’s where you found a passion for dancing and the stage. Here you are years later, practicing numerous variations daily, performing in opera houses, and mentoring all these gifted kids.

Your last class with elementary kids, which began around 5 pm, reached its end once all the students curtsied in front of you and scurried to their mothers or their nannies. The remaining plan on your agenda today was the company class at 7:30 pm, which exceeds the average hour and a half. It’s worse during show season. There have been times everyone went beyond midnight to polish every scene from head to toe.

Currently, there’s no upcoming show for the public, though the annual summer recital for the students was around the corner. Selected members of the company were chosen to perform individually in it, which was both exciting and intense. It’s also because it’s an evaluation on whether you’d get promoted in status or staying put. You’ve partaken in 3 recitals in the past, two of which elevated you from the corps and demi-soloist ranks. The recent one, however, didn’t change your soloist ranking.

It was a major first in your career in ballet, and after finding out the result of the latter, it emotionally pained you. Recalling how much soul you put into that piece, the rejection from your artistic director clenched your heart. Though in time, you moved on from it and viewed it as a stepping stone. Also, Sicheng and Ten personally stormed your apartment to pull yourself together with wine and pizza after going on a short leave.

Since you were trainees, Sicheng and Ten were your best friends in and outside the company. Working daily to occasional barhopping, that’s your youth summed up. It wasn’t because you didn’t like the girls you’ve worked with (though a lot of them were fake and bitchy), but these two were frank and humorous as hell. Together, you’d help each other with your goals rather than be competitive. Over time, Ten leveled up to a principal dancer for 2 years running while you and Sicheng were still soloists. The way you’d watch Ten take all the big roles, that’s where you want to be one day.

Back in your last teaching class, the entire dance room was vacant. Since it’s mainly used for ballet classes, you’d either run through anything you’ve practiced from the company classes and polish it or warm up a little bit more.

Except for today, this was the only free time to sew a new pair of pointe shoes because your current ones were dead. Dead in a sense that the hard shell turned soft, which won’t be able to support you when you’re up on your toes. You’re not taking any risks of minor injuries especially when you’re in the current lineup of company members performing for this upcoming recital again. You have to prove to everyone that you deserve a position as a principal dancer.

As your legs sprawled in a half middle split, your sewing equipment laid in front of you like you’re about to perform surgery, a tiny girl stood by the ajar studio doors. In her neat bun and holding on to her small duffel bag, you’re convinced everyone has gone home already since it’s quite late.

You may have your priorities as a company member, but she was still your student.

“Minji!” You shouted her name, speedily waving your hand. You’re not one to have favorites, though you couldn’t help wonder how extraordinary she was. She’s always taking charge in demonstrating the lessons to everyone and improving every session in the 3 years she’s joined the academy. “Come in! Come in!”

At age 7, she’s gotten taller through the years, above the average from how you see it. She must have amazing genetics. Her legs sauntered in seconds to you. Sitting down across you, she marveled at your setup. Specifically, at the fresh pointe shoes.

“Are those yours, Teacher (Y/N)?” She perked up, caressing its soft fabric and playing with the mini bows of the drawstrings.

“Yes, it is, Minji!” You answered while trying to insert the thin thread through the small eye of the needle. “Why are you still here? Is your nanny stuck in traffic or something?”

“My nanny went on sudden leave, so my dad’s the one fetching me. But I think he’s running late from his job.”

Oh, this was a first to know about her father. In all the years she’s been your student, you rarely caught sight of him, even in recitals. Maybe he sat in an unknown section, but you’re pretty much acquainted with all the parents of your students. Even if some were snobbier than the rest because they wanted their child to have more stage time, you still got to know them out of respect. Quite odd, if you said so yourself.

After deep concentration, the thread triumphantly passed through the eye so you tied the two ends of the thread in a double knot. Seeing as Minji attentively watched you, you tasked her to cut the ribbons of your shoes according to the trail of pencil marks. This was so she wouldn’t cut it too short or too long. While she did that, you hammered your shoes against the floor to soften the hard front, bending the shank back and forth so the arch of your feet could move without difficulty later.

Minji wasn’t expecting such loud sounds, her entire body shaken awake. Her facial expression was priceless, explaining to her, “Once you get your first pointe shoes in a few years, this is one of the basic things you need to do so your feet won’t hurt too much while dancing.”

“Will you be there to teach me how to make my pointe shoes?”

“Absolutely! Come to me first then I’ll mentor you all that I know.”

The process of sewing and breaking new pointe shoes engraved your mind since your adolescent years, with changes along the way. Inspired by some tricks from your former teachers, but there were some differing rituals you followed. There’s no definite process of it, just as long you’re comfortable to dance after.

With your feet, you stepped on the hard boxes of the shoes to soften it more, creating a popping sound. Followed by sewing your elastic bands in. For your ribbons, you liked to burn the edges with a lighter so the thread of it won’t run. Kindly asking your cute assistant for the lighter beside her, you scanned the edges back and forth the flame. In seconds, the edges had a distinct mark, fully closed. From there, you slid your feet to your shoes to make final sewing adjustments. Sewing your ribbons took you another few minutes, plus adding superglue inside the shoe so the shoe won’t collapse when it unstiffens and scratching the shank with a cutter so you won’t slip later while dancing.

Voila, the final product is done! Hopefully, it can last you a week at least.

“Wow, Teacher (Y/N), it looks pretty!” Minji applauded, collecting the mess you’ve both made to dispose of later. You, on the other hand, gave her your thanks once you applied some bandages on your big toes and put on your toe pads. Slipping inside the shoes and tying them, you rose up back to your feet and headed to the bar to break them in. From plies-relevésto forced arches, the shoes gave you the sensation that they were an extension of your feet. The ease flowed through, meaning you were ready to practice your variations.

While you stepped your shoes in rosin for friction, your curious student moved to the front where the mirror lied to watch what you’ve prepared.

“What variation are you dancing to?”

“This is the Gamzatti variation from La Bayadere.” You replied, tapping the play button on your phone and racing to your position on the side. Talking a short ballet walk, you strongly prepared your arms before the music of the orchestra takes off.

This variation consisted of a lot of jumps and turns. Grand jetés, attitude turns, chaîné turns, you needed a lot of core control and proper spotting so you won’t get dizzy. The thrilling music lessened your nerves because you enjoyed learning this piece from one of the principal dancers, smiling and letting the music guide your legs. Once you nailed 3 consecutive grand jetés, the variation ended with a sus-sous and the wrists of your hands flicking upwards.

Holding it for 5 more seconds, you landed back on your feet with heavy breathing and a need for water. But before you could, small claps and cheers from Minji in front erupted. Momentarily, you’ve forgotten her presence because dancing solo puts you in your own space. You’d never let anyone take you away from it.

“Teacher (Y/N), that was wonderful! Are you performing that in the summer recital?”

Yikes, she’s right but she wasn’t meant to see it yet. Solo performances from the company members for the recital were top secret, only unveiled during the production rehearsal. Well, you didn’t think this through, but you didn’t mind.

“Can you keep a secret?”

Time ticked a lot faster today, only 10 minutes left until the company class on the ground floor whereas you were in the second. Just a few steps down the stairs away, yet Minji was still here. You only presumed that within your hour break, her father could’ve made it already. But maybe he’s stuck in traffic or at work.

“Minji, my class starts soon. Have you contacted your father?”

“I already texted him earlier, but he hasn’t responded. This happens often, he’s a busy man.” She bowed in front of you suddenly. “I’m sorry, Teacher (Y/N) for the hassle.”

“Oh no, please!” You shook your hands so she’d stop. Because this situation was relatively new, you were unsure of how to handle it. Or that was until you remembered what Ten texted you earlier. “Minji, the blinds of the main studio are going to be lifted so anyone from the outside can view us practicing. Would you like to watch until your dad gets here?”

With her insistent nodding, she situated herself in one of the seats in the front row. When you entered the main studio, your two close companions already carried a metal barre to the center and leaned towards it while observing you walking to them in your flat shoes.

“I see we have a bit of an audience here.” Ten glimpsed at the young girl, astonished by the many dancers prepping and chatting away with their cliques from the glass barrier.

“Her dad isn’t here yet, and you did say the blinds were up today. Might as well give her a show while she waits, you know.” You lifted your right leg to the top barre, stretching it with your arms.

“Hmmm, shouldn’t her dad be more cautious though? It’s getting late and it’s a Thursday. Doesn’t she have school or something?” Sicheng pointed out, discarding his muscle tee to straighten out his leotard.

“That’s not my business though. She’s just my student, and since she’s still here, I have to entertain her while she waits.”

Before your friends said anything back, the artistic director of the ballet company strutted her way to the center of the room. It’s a common rule here that once she entered, everyone must be silent to listen and race to any free spot in the numerous barres spread out if they haven’t.

“Alright, everyone. We’ll do the typical barre, then before doing across the floor exercises, I’ll be requesting those performing solos already in the recital to dance any variation tonight as another evaluation on who deserves to perform twice.” She eyed the pianist directly beside her. “Proceed first with two demi-pliés then one grand plié. Don’t forget to do the port de bras of each position.”

As the live piano music played, your focus was divided. Partly properly executing the exercise while your artistic director roamed each barre area, partly thinking about what variation to perform. This was a first for the company, and everyone was just stunned to hear the breaking news. It’d be nice to get an extra opportunity to showcase to people your potential.

30-40 minutes flew by quickly. As the guys carried the bars to the side to clear out the floor and the girls changed to their pointe shoes, the artistic director ordered all the performers of the recitals to stand in a line in front of her. Everyone else was seated around the room, so the interested eyes of everyone were on you. There were 10 performers, half are from the corps and the other half are either demi-soloists or soloists. You and Sicheng stood beside each other, internally shaking with nerves under the intimidating eyes of the artistic director. She used to be a principal dancer for the Stuttgart Ballet in Germany before moving back to Seoul, making her undeniably capable of leading all of you.

“Okay,” From her seated position observing the 10 performers, her finger pointed at you directly. “Ms. (Y/L/N) (Y/N), you perform first.”

Your nerves intensified and more sweat streamed out your upper body. Even if going first felt more relieving, no one was ever brave enough to perform individually in front of the esteemed artistic director. Principal dancers aside from Ten that you’re close with were intimidated when they have 1-on-1 or partnering sessions with her. But anyhow, in less than 2 minutes, you’d be done. This wasn’t the first time she’s had your full attention either, so you’ll treat it like the other individual performances you’ve had.

You smiled to yourself when the other soloists left you alone, while you gave the name of the variation you’re dancing to the pianist. Running to the side to put on a practice tutu, the artistic director asked, “What will you be dancing for us tonight, (Y/N)?”

“I’ll be dancing Queen of the Dryads from Don Quixote.”

The last time you did this variation was 3 years ago during the recital that didn’t change your position as a soloist. Even if this variation hurt to think about for a while, it was still one of your favorites to watch and do. Moving on, you could only muse how powerful and beautiful you felt at that time. This isn’t an easy piece to perform in your opinion. Yet according to the members of the company, this was their favorite solo of yours.

As the starting notes unfolded, you took a deep breath and elegantly walked into the frame. You only wished you wore your fake crown again for this. Minimal smiling and light arms, you imagined yourself as an actual queen who captured the eyes of many. In this case, your fellow seniors and juniors held their breaths at the captivating sight of you.

Off you go into a series of glissade jeté developpé on relevé at elevating heights, then a fouetté arabesque and another arabesque on relevé before ballet walking again to the side to dance across the stage. Sissonne to the front, right developpé to the front on relevé, pique to prepare for a single pirouette, you gracefully did a chassé to the front twice and stood on your toes with a sus-sous.

Doing it a few more times, the climax of the entire variation was nearing. Returning to the center, you took another deep breath and lifted your left leg for the Italian fouettés. Spotting to the front and back while maintaining your balance, the variation approached its end with lame duck turns, posing with your arms were positioned at a 45-degree angle, your back slightly arched and your left leg doing a tendu derriére. Your eyes reflected at the mirror in front, surveying your alignment. Once your 5-second hold was finished, you properly put your arms down and closed your back leg into 5th position.

The applause from everyone in the room roared, Ten and Sicheng wolf-whistling even for more support. It’s a usual thing every time any of you perform individually, and no one minded it. The artistic director grinned, giving a quiet clap from the front before calling out the next performer, who was from the corps. Bowing to everyone hastily, you paid more attention to spot your student by the window. She was smiling ear to ear, waving both hands at you.

“You did amazing, Teacher!” She mouthed. Hearing words of praise from members was one thing, but hearing them from students was another. You’re so used to watching them and giving them your compliments that you often forget that you’re a dancer first before a teacher. Seeing them all delighted, saying that it motivates them more, showed that you’re doing a great job teaching them. You’re a reflection of what you pass down, and all you want was for them to be the best they could be.

From her jolly expression, a tall masculine silhouette hovered a part of the window. Her instinct of giving a brighter smile when the hand of said silhouette patted her head then carried her duffel bag again, that could only mean one thing. Excusing yourself to the artistic director, you stepped out to bid your goodbye and maybe meet her father. Minji and the tall man were about to leave the building if it weren’t for your breathy voice calling them out.

“Seo Minji and Mr. Seo?”

They stopped their tracks. Minji was fast to react, familiar with your voice and racing towards you for a sweaty hug. Meanwhile, your focus shifted once the masculine silhouette came into full view. You finally understood why Minji’s growth spurt spiked up, noticing that he was taller than Sicheng.

The top buttons of his shirt were off, yet he kept his formal blazer on. His hair was a bit tousled, some strands falling in front of his forehead. He must’ve run here. Peeking through were some roots of his scruff growing. His eyebags were almost as dark as his brown hair. Yet by the way his Rolex remained spotless, you blatantly assumed that he was more than well-off. Especially when the ballet academy was one of the most prestigious ones in Seoul.

Out of all the parents you’ve met, none of them appeared youthful like him.

“Teacher (Y/N)?” Thanks to Minji, you moved your staring eyes away from him. This was another first, since meeting only the fathers of your students wasn’t your norm. Meeting young-looking fathers, to be specific.

“O-Oh,” You ate your words, suddenly blanking out. “You’re leaving me without saying goodbye, Minji? Not polite of you.”

“My father was rushing right after watching your performance, and I don’t know why.” She responded, her finger scratching the top of her head in confusion. Speaking of said father, his strong presence appeared right in front of you. The wrinkles of his forehead creased while his eyes barely looked at yours.

“Uhm,” His fingers toyed with his Rolex. “I apologize for my tardiness. I got caught up in work and all, plus her nanny le-”

“Mr. Seo.” You halted his rambling, already aware of the situation. Like father, like daughter. “It’s fine. Minji loved watching us practice while waiting, and she wasn’t a bother either. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Phew.” He swiped an imaginative bead of sweat from his forehead, displaying his relief with his playful nature.

At age 23, Johnny Seo started his own company in the fashion scene and it grew internationally in the coming years. Then when Minji unexpectedly joined the picture, he’s been multi-tasking to make ends meet. Lately, as a CEO, he has had meetings and conferences on a daily. So, his position as a single father was always tested. It worsened when he rarely has proper time to spend any time with Minji unless it’s the weekend or late in the evening. Breaking it down, it wasn’t because he didn’t want to meet you. It was more like he couldn’t when his schedules were packed from head to toe.

Having the guilt of taking your precious time, “Seriously though, I am sorry for being late. Her nanny resigned suddenly, and I have no time to find her replacement.”

“Mr. Seo, again, don’t worry about it. As her teacher and a company member, I am practically here 24/7 so it won’t be a nuisance at all if this happens again.”

“Thank you so much, Teacher (Y/N). That is your name, right?” He planted his palm on his forehead, stressed. “Being a single parent is hard. I am always forgetting things.”

A part of you couldn’t restrain from feeling sorry for his struggle. Taking care of a child should be the work of both the mother and father, not one of them being absent. You’ve feared this would harm Minji, but she’s a strong girl.

“The fact you didn’t forget to fetch Minji despite the late time is still something to be happy over. I’m not a parent or anything, but parenting, in general, is a challenge.” You added an insight, patting the head of the young girl beside you. “Cut yourself some slack, Mr. Seo. I’m sure Minji still loves you, right?”

Minji shouted a big yes, now clinging to the leg of her father. “It’s okay, dad. Really.”

Over the years, Johnny has been doubtful of his parenting skills. He was an only child, and he struggled to ask for guidance from his own parents due to the shame of having a kid at a young age. So, he’d ask for help from his other friends and co-workers. No matter how many times they’ve reassured him that he’s doing well, he’s an overthinker who always reflected on the bad scenarios. There’s also that pressure to find someone who can fill that absent position not just for Minji, but for himself too. No matter how many girls he’s asked out or been set up with, he failed in the love department badly.

It’s the soothing way you voiced out your truth that made all these negative thoughts running through his head freeze briefly. Over the past 3 years since Minji started ballet, she always had a great story about you to share. One of them was how ballet made her a lot happier because of your influence. If he had at least an hour of his day to meet any of his daughter’s mentors, it would’ve been you.

“Do feel free to call me Johnny instead.” He casually introduced himself, taking his hand out for you to shake. “Mr. Seo makes me feel like I’m at work right now.”

Despite his informal approach, you understood his intentions and returned the action with a promising smile. “Pleasure to finally meet you, Johnny.”

“Pleasure is all mine, Teacher (Y/N).”

Earlier, the nerves from performing in front of the artistic director died down fast. But for some reason, they rose back up when you’ve spoken to this man in a matter of minutes. As someone whose feelings don’t flourish in a single glance, why did this man specifically deliver you such a strong effect?

If it weren’t for Ten calling for your name by the door, you would’ve held on to Johnny’s hand longer, which would’ve been inappropriate. Letting go first, this was your cue to return to your class.

“I must head back inside, Johnny. Don’t sweat on fetching your daughter late, though she is still a student with school the following day. Right, Minji?”

Minji nodded as Johnny kept that mind, knowing where he has to improve next.  “Yes, Teacher (Y/N). Thank you again, sincerely. I’ll definitely see you again in the coming days until Minji has a new nanny.”

“That’s no problem with me at all, Johnny.”

Soon as Johnny held his daughter’s hand to exit the studio and you were re-entering the studio with an impatient Ten, he swerved swiftly as if he forgot something.

“Oh by the way Teacher (Y/N), I saw your whole performance awhile ago. I was blown away, you deserved the applause.”

Although you could only distinguish his silhouette, you didn’t suppose he watched you from head to toe. Most parents or nannies would’ve dragged their kids out of the studio once they find them like they were on a tight schedule, so this was novel to experience. That performance showed your prime too.

“Thank you, Johnny. See you again soon.”

Giving a final nod, you led yourself back to the studio, not bothering to acknowledge the erupting heat on your cheeks and entire body. Not to sound narcissistic, but compliments weren’t foreign to you. You’re conscious of the hard work that you put in your talent and if they pointed out your greatness, why would you deny it? However, receiving one from Johnny was like gearing your engine with new fuel.

Before you could try to reject these harboring feelings, Ten was fast to pick up on it. You cannot hide anything from this man at all because body language was like another language he’s fluent in (aside from the other 5). Unlucky for you, the saga continued.

“You’re so into dilfs, (Y/N)!” He shrieked in your ear, nudging your shoulder repetitively. He placed things in his own way, yet they always shocked you because it was so inappropriate. Typical Ten for you.

“Shut up, Ten!” You objected, watching the other performers. You’ve improved in ignoring his remarks over time. That was until Sicheng sat down beside you after his solo and got up in your business. That placed you in the middle of boys from the water sign clan of astrology. They just loved getting down to your love life, going raunchy and whatnot.

“Who’s into dilfs, Ten?”

“A Miss (Y/N) beside you, who met Minji’s dad awhile ago, was basically eye-fucking him.” Ten elaborated, planting his elbows on your leg and gave you a sneaky glare. “Minji’s dad is fine as fuck, guys! I’m telling you, like a literal god! I’m surprised this is the first time he showed up here after 2-3 years?”

“How come (Y/N) is always getting students with good-looking parents? Especially the single moms.” Sicheng slumped his shoulders, attempting to get your attention too. “Is he that hot, (Y/N)?”

“Yah.” Sighing with annoyance, you’ve given up trying to appreciate one of the corps dancers with her rendition of Dulcinea from Don Quixote. “Don’t speak of Johnny like that. You barely know the man, yet you talk about him so unprofessionally."

“Oh, Johnny is his name, huh?” Sicheng sing-songed, bobbing his head. He’s certainly going to stalk him later on social media, you felt it in your chest. Like it was ESPN or something.

“Talking about being unprofessional, yet you’re here referring him as Johnny, not Mr. Seo.” Ten barked back, his lips pursed and one eyebrow lifted.

Just as soon as you could retaliate, the artistic director’s velvety voice boomed the room.

“Alright, thank you to the performers. I will deliberate with the staff and principal dancers over the weekend, and let you know the results on Monday. Now please, let’s proceed to the center.”

Everyone began to spread out on the wide floor, snatching a good position so they could monitor themselves in the mirror. Maybe you’ll defend yourself later after class because now, you needed to beat everyone else and have a crystal-clear view of yourself doing these following exercises.

In the meantime, Johnny was in the middle of driving Minji home. He had a designated chauffeur, but he gave him the night off because he wanted to spend time with Minji. Around this time, she’d be sleeping soundly, but instead, she’s boosting with so much life. She hasn’t even eaten dinner yet, which was the first thing on Johnny’s agenda now.

Playing Coldplay in the car, Minji belted some lyrics from her favorite songs while Johnny smiled to himself while listening to her attentively. Taking a breath, her thoughts reverted to her fantastic ballet teacher and shared them with her father.

“Dad! Don’t you just think Teacher (Y/N) is so cool? Ugh, I want to be just like her when I grow up.”

“Oh, to become a ballerina like her, you have to work hard every day and memorize lessons fast. Are you up for it, Minji?”

“Absolutely, dad! I want to pull off perfect jumps and turns like her one day!”

In the other after-school activities Johnny enrolled Minji in the past, none of them compared to the passion she had for ballet. Her work ethic was alike to Johnny’s: if they want something, they’ll do whatever it takes to make it possible.

Aside from being a star student in her school, she’s aiming to be a star ballerina. Being the supportive father he is, Johnny was on board to do what it takes to make it happen. Unlike his parents trying to mold him into the next heir of their company, he’s all ears to the dreams of his daughter. His only dream for her was to be live long and happy, not to merely pass on anything.

Johnny lost so much in his young life, so he doesn’t want to lose Minji in any way. As much as he loves his profession, he wanted to be an active father as much as time allowed it. He mostly received complaints from others that he’s not prioritizing his time well, but after hearing your kind words, this heavy weight on his shoulders decreased. All this doubt started to vanish after meeting you for the first time.

“Dad! Isn’t Teacher (Y/N) so beautiful?” Minji honored whilst gazing at the twinkling night sky. “She loves what she does and shines at it.”

Johnny was accustomed to his female co-workers throwing themselves at him due to his attractiveness, more than flattered even to have them feeling weak for him. Yes, there were times he used it to his advantage, some he frankly turned down. 

However, the radiance you carried whether you’re dancing or not was something Johnny couldn’t cease wondering about. Unknown to him, he’s the one getting weak. Behold, an unlocked first for the confident CEO.

“Yes, Minji. I do think Teacher (Y/N) is absolutely beautiful.”

[peterparkers-bad-youtube-apology]

Epilogue

Existence in Real Time - The Epilogue

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark! Reader

A/N: I’m crying, shaking, pissing, and shitting myself right now. I love my babies so much and I am so happy to have finished this, even though I want to keep writing for them. Maybe a sequel? 😏 Anyways I hope you guys like this cute little epilogue, I love you guys so much, thanks for being with me through this story and being so supportive of my first series. You’re the best, love you xx

Summary: It’s been one year since Norman’s arrest and Peter and (y/n) have settled into a (mostly) normal life. Norman’s trial is just coming to an end and now Peter has a surprise for (y/n).

Taglist

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

⭒☆���━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

“We the jury find the accused guilty on all charges.”

It’d taken a full year for the trial to come, and another two weeks for all the evidence to be presented. The year had been relatively calm, giving Peter some much needed time to adjust to normal (or at least mostly normal) life. He had helped where he could with the trial, even delivering an anonymous statement on his time in the lab, but he thought going to the trial was pointless. He knew Norman would be found guilty, and he didn’t want to waste anymore of his life on the man. Three hours ago the jury had begun deliberation, and (y/n) had put on the live feed of the courthouse when they returned with the verdict.

“Yes!” (y/n) cheered, “Guilty on all charges!” she turned to Peter, who was busy constructing the Imperial Star Destroyer she’d gotten him for his birthday.

He glanced up at her with an amused smile, “You say that like there was a chance he’d get anything else.”

She rolled her eyes, “I know, I know, but it’s still a relief. Doesn’t it feel good?”

Peter nodded, “Yeah, I mean I’m glad this whole thing is over, but I’ve got much better things to occupy my time with.”

“Oh really?” she challenged, “Like what?”

“You mostly,” he hummed, “Speaking of which, how do you feel about going on a date tonight?”

“Yeah, I figured dad and May and everyone would want to get together and celebrate,” she agreed.

“No, no, just me and you tonight,” he corrected, “I’ve been planning something.”

She raised a brow, “You have?”

“Yep,” he beamed proudly, “I’m happy he’s going to jail, really happy, but I’m more happy that I have my sunflower. I’d rather celebrate that instead.”

“Aw, Peter,” she cooed, sitting down beside him, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he pressed his lips to hers with a smile, “So, tonight, 7 pm, meet me at Fort Tryon in the Heather Garden.”

“We aren’t going together?” she frowned.

He shook his head, “Nope, it’s part of the surprise, just meet me there alright?”

“Alright, I’ll be there,” she promised, “Should I bring anything?”

“Nope,” he smiled, “Oh, but, uh, maybe I could borrow your Polaroid?” She giggled, “Well if you’re providing everything else I think I can handle bringing the camera,” she kissed his cheek, “And next time I’m planning the surprise date alright?”

“Deal.”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Peter had disappeared from the penthouse by 5:30, leaving (y/n) to ponder what he could be planning while she got ready. Peter was waiting exactly where he said he would be, bouncing on his heels nervously. His lips drew to a smile when he finally spotted her heading his way.

“Hey sunflower.”

“Hi spider-dork,” she smiled back, “It’s pretty out here.”

“You’re prettier,” he kissed both of her cheeks, making her giggle, “You brought the Polaroid?”

She nodded and patted the side of her purse, “Yep, I got it right here.”

“Good,” he took a deep breath, “Well come on, I’ve got everything all set up for you.”

She followed after him with a smile, he’d found a semi secluded area where he had set up a picnic. Complete with the checkered blanket and wicker basket, on top of which sat a small gift bag.

“Aw, Peter,” she cooed, “This is beautiful, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he kissed her cheek again before taking a seat, “Come on, get comfy. I’ve got food and dessert and drinks and everything in here.”

She giggled as she fell down beside him, “You are the sweetest boyfriend in the whole world.”

“Well now you’re just getting sappy,” he smiled to her as he opened the basket, “I got sushi for dinner, from the same place we went with Tony when I first left the tower. A-And I got cupcakes from that bakery we went to on our anniversary.”

She swooned while he passed her a tray of sushi, “I take it back, I think you’re the sweetest boyfriend in the whole universe.”

“I try my best,” he blushed, “Okay, it’s my turn to be sappy now.”

“Oh goody, I love it when you’re sappy,” she winked before shoving a sushi roll into her mouth.

“Well I’m glad you do,” he placed the gift bag in front of her, “W-Well I didn’t really plan out a speech or anything, but I just wanted you to know you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you so much, and I want you to always know that I love you and have me with you and everything so I got you this…”

“Aw, Peter,” she cooed, tearing open the bag to find a jewelry box. Inside was a necklace, a dainty gold chain with a gold sunflower charm hanging off of it, “Aw! Peter!” she threw her arms around his neck, knocking him onto his back.

“I’m glad you like it,” he huffed as he hit the ground.

“I love it!” she peppered kisses over both of his cheeks.

He squeezed her waist, “Look at the back.”

She squinted at the back of the charm where she found some roman numerals had been inscribed, “Is that our anniversary?”

He nodded before sitting back up, “Yeah, I thought the roman numerals looked better than regular numbers.”

“I agree,” she passed him the necklace, “Can you put it on for me?”

“Of course.”

She sighed as he clipped it on, “You’re officially the best boyfriend in any universe.”

“You think there’s more than one universe?” he hummed.

“Maybe, my dad thinks there is,” she shrugged, “I know one thing for sure though.”

“And what’s that?”

“Every single universe ends with you and me together,” she pressed her lips to his as a smile overtook his face.

“I’m sure you’re right, but I don’t really care what happens anywhere else, I’ve got everything I need right here,” Peter dragged her into his lap and nuzzled his nose against hers, “You, my sunflower, are everything I will ever want.”

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

Taglist:

@niallberry @namoreno @singerintheshower @juliannaamonroe @kaylans-imagines @petershbw @spideyspeaches

[urbfsecretgf]

The boy next door. (pt2.)

a/n: no one asked for more but im just gonna keep posting as i write bc its fun :)

(everything is made up including names, family members and text messages)

_________________________________________________________

you look at the message from vinnie and smile.

"what are you so smiley about y/n?" you mom says in a jokingly way

"she met a boy at the ice cream shop" jack says sounding annoyed

"soooo whats his name, is he cute, how old is he, where does he live, i wanna know everything"

your mom has always been a little nosey when it comes to boys, especially ones that make you smile.

"mommmmmm" you say

"oh come on i just wanna know"

"okay fine" you give in "his names vinnie and he lives next door, he came into the ice cream shop while we were waiting and he complimented me on my ice cream choice"

your mom laughs and says; "he seems like a very sweet boy, why dont you invite him and his family over for dinner tomorrow?"

"we arent moved in fully yet mom" jack interrupts

"oh vinnie offered to come over tomorrow and help move stuff in, you can invite him and his family over for dinner when hes here if you want to"

your mom sits and thinks about it for a second. she's never liked asking for help "you know we could use the extra hands, if you want to text him and see if hes willing to come over around 10 and help unload boxes that would be wonderful. i'll make lunch too depending on how long it takes"

"YES!" you scream in excitement, "i'll text him right now and see if he can. love you mom!"

you run upstairs and let out a squeal. you where so excited to see your dream boy again.

you text vinnie and throw your phone on your bed.

"oh shoot!" you yelled. "if he does come over i have to clean my room i can have it look like this." you look down at your floor and see all the laundry scattered everywhere.

"im such a mess"

you put on your favorite playlist and start dancing while you clean your room.

*BZZ*

"mom! he said hes coming over tomorrow!"

"sounds good!"

you keep cleaning your room but eventually fall asleep because you had a long day today.

when you woke up you checked the time.

"ITS 10:45??"

your alarm never went off causing you to over sleep.

"i havent showered, i havent gotten ready, i havent done anything! and my room still isnt clean UGHHHH!"

you quickly throw on a pair of pajama bottoms and a crop top you found in your closet, you put dry shampoo in and throw your hair into a bun.

you grabbed your glasses and run down stairs.

"well good morning sleeping beauty" vinnie says to you staring at you.

"OMG YOU'RE HERE!"

"yeah you told me to come over... your mom is an amazing lady i must say, i also didnt know you wore glasses"

"MY GLASSES NOOOO!" you panic realizing you didnt have time to put your contacts in

"calm down its okay y/n. i like them." vinnie smiles at you.

"his smile is so pretty, and his eyes, wow." you think to yourself.

"y/n?" your mom says

"huh?"

"you okay? you zoned out for a second"

"OH yeah no im great." you realize you zoned out while staring at vinnie who was in a white tank top and is wearing a baseball cap. you couldnt stop yourself from starring.

"hey mom.." jack says "i found this in with the books"

you look at jack and realize hes holding your old bra

"JACK THATS MINE STOP" you gasp. oh boy that's embarrassing.

vinnie starts laughing and looks at you.

"stop laughing"

you're so embarrassed that he just saw that.

"dont worry y/n its okay. my dog had my boxers on her head after she went snooping in my room."

you can't help but to laugh a little.

the thought of seeing his dog with his boxers on her head is something you would pay to see.

"alright so is there anything else you would like me to move Mrs. Anderson?" vinnie asks your mom

"i dont believe so unless y/n or jack has anything to move" your mom looks at you and your brother waiting for a response.

jack breaks the silence and goes "nope, i think everything is in my room already."

"y/n do you have anything you need help unpacking or anything?" he looks at you and his eyes are this beautiful chocolate brown color.

"yeah i do actually."

vinnie and you head up to your room

"im sorry its such a mess i was trying to clean it last night but i must have fell asleep."

"don't worry about it, my room is way worse than this"

he reaches for a magazine he sees and giggles

"whats so funny? HEY PUT THAT DOWN!"

he laughs and sets it back down

"you know i think its cute."

"whats cute?'

"you, everything about you."

you roll your eyes and smile

"you're dumb Mr. Hacker, but you're cute as well"

"thank you Ms. Hacker."

"what did you say?"

"huh? nothing, anyways is that all you wanted me to help with?"

"yeah thats it thank you."

vinnie walks downstairs and you follow.

your mom is in the kitchen with your brother.

"oh vinnie before you leave, would you and your family like to come over for dinner tonight?" vinnie looks at you and then at your mom.

"i think they would be delighted to come over for dinner tonight Mrs. Anderson, i'll text them right now."

you go into the living room to watch some tv. vinnie follows and sits next to you.

*BZZ*

vinnies phone goes off

"they said they would love to come over, do you have a time in mind on when they should come over?"

"does 7:30 work?"

"that will work just fine."

looking at the time you realize you and vinnie have spent 5 hours together already.

"i should probably get heading home, i have to shower and get ready for dinner tonight, see you then everyone!" he kisses your cheek and heads out the door.

"bye vinnie see you tonight!" your mom and brother exclaim

"what a sweet boy" mom says

*4 hours later, 7:00 PM*

"Vinnie and his family will be over in 30 mins please make sure everything is ready and make sure you guys are ready aswell"

your mom has always been one to make sure everything and everyone looks good before any guest come over.

the door bell rings.

"y/n!! can you please get the door?"

you rush downstairs and open the door.

"hey y/n, wow you look good"

you curled your hair, put makeup on, and are wearing your nice fancy dress.

"hey vin i could say the same thing about you."

both of you are dressed up very nicely. he's wearing his blue suit and has his shirt buttoned down showing chest tattoo.

something about his tattoos drive you insane. you love them.

he introduces his family to yours

"i never knew you had a twin brothers." you say as your brother and his run off to the backyard.

"yeah they are a real pain in the ass"

"i know what that's like"

the two of you laugh

"this is a beautiful house you have jackie and you have 2 beautiful children as well" vinnies mom says to yours

"well thank you sandy im very blessed with what i have gotten in life, your 3 boys are such angels especially vinnie here. hes been very helpful today and i really appreciate it."

he smiles at your mom and then at you

"dinner was amazing, thank you for inviting us over and introducing us to your family, we are going to have a bbq here this weekend if you guys want to join." vinnies dad offers

"we will be there"

"awesome, well we best get going its late and we both have work in the morning, thank you again."

"yeah anytime! thank you guys for coming."

you say goodnight to vinnie and his family and head upstairs.

*BZZ*

New Message from Vinnie <3: you looked absolutely stunning tonight

To Vinnie <3: thank you vin, you looked very handsome tonight as well i must say, you look handsome every night tho.

From Vinnie <3: you're cute, goodnight luv sleep well :)

you set your phone down and smile. hes truly the best guy you have ever met.

[ushiwakaout]

I-bRO your what the Haikyuu bois would say is so awesome! Could I request that but for Kuroo? I'm literally such a simp for the roosterhead! Thanks so much ♡

Thank you 🥺 that means a lot.

i love kuroo 😖 i hate fannon kuroo ngl, so many people think he’s a sex god (well even cannon kuroo is probably a sex god once he figures out how to work his willy but u know) and he’s honestly just a dumb chem nerd.

Let us just say that you work for him as a personal assisten 

Warnings: HAIYUUU TIMESKIP

“Hey, honey... Breakfast is ready.” (5:00 am)

“No dont worry, i didnt make it... You know I cant cook to save my life.”

“I just went down the street to buy you a coffee and some sweet bread.”

“You always wake up earlier than I do to get me something, so i just thought to repay you back...”

“Why do you always think there is a catch?”

“Fine, you caught me... I need you to help me make an itinerarie for our upcoming not-so-vacation, vacation.”

“I would have told you yesterday but we where, busy~”

“Ow! Do not hit me, I’m your boss.”

You: “More the reason!”

“More the reason my ass, hurry up and get ready, we gotta get to the office.”

“Oh yeah, we also have meetings all day today so wear something comfortable.”

“You ready to go?” (6:30 am)

“Give me a little twirl baby.”

*will slap you ass when you pass him to leave your home*

*he is def laughing past you and you’re like alright bet*

you: “Hey baby come here, give me a kiss”

“Oh now you wanna give me a kiss, you gotta reach for it, honey ~ ”

*you pull on his tie so he’s at level for a kiss but you only give him a peck before giving his ass a good smack and running to the passanger side of his car*

“Hey! Get back here, I want a decent kiss!”

“Who tought you how to smack so hard?”

“Me? I would never~”

“Come on give me a good kiss.”

“I’m gonna park the car, you go ahead and get a head start without me.”(7:30 am)

you: “What took you so long?”

“What do you mean what took me so long, I was getting you flowers”  

*gives you the bouque of flowers and kiss on the cheek*

“Duh honey~”

“Stop blushing and lets get to work.” (8:00 am)

“Have you seen my pen?”

“Can you go get me some water?”

“Come on give me a kiss before we get to the next meeting.”

“Hey, just because their an assistant doesn’t mean you get to boss them around like that.”

“Says who? You ’re fucking boss and her husband you dibshit- get out my office and I want you to apologize, but don’t you dare look in their eyes because a low life like you doesn’t deserve to.” 

“Oh and ask her to come back in, will you?”

“Hey honey, is it lunch yet?”

you: “You did not have to be so rude...”

“Didn’t have to be rude, my ass. No one gets to talk down to you like that- not even me... Well, I do... But only if you want me too~”

*he do be leaning in for a kiss but you shove your hand onto his face*

you: “Whatchu want for lunch Testu and do not say me because I will quit.” 

“Awe.. Honey you’re no fun...”

HE HAS ONE HUNDRESS PERCENT EATEN YOU KNOW OUT IN HIS OFFICE, HES MADE YOU CUM DURRING MEETINGS AND HAS MADE YOU SIT ON HIS COCK WHILE ON CONVERENCE CALLS AGHHHHH

“Just order me something and get it to go because we don’t have time to go out right now, I’ll make it up to you next time tho.”

“It’s just Y/n with my lunch. Let them in will ya?” (1:00 pm)

“Hey, honey...*whispers* book me an appointment with my chiro will ya? My back is definetly gonna need it... Do it for friday night since we have the weekend off.”

“You’re dismissed.”

*will pat you your thigh before you walk out the door*

*is a very firm believer of not teasing you around co-workers. no pda around the office unless it’s his and the blinds are shut and the door is locked*

“Honey~ let me take a nap on your lap.I’ve got thirty minutes and I’m tired.” (2:30 pm)

“Hey- We have a dinner meeting so I need you to go home, freshen up and get me a new suit- I’ll get ready in the gym bathrooms, I’ll be fine.”

“Let me know when you’re on the way so I can just take a quick wash- hold on give me a kiss before you go.” (3:20 pm)

“You’re on the way back? Pick me up some iced coffee, yeah?”

“You here? Hold on let me put on a towel.” (6:00 pm)

“What you lookin’ at?”

“Oh? Sorry- I’ll cover up~”

“You look real sexy by the way... Give me a kiss.”

“Mmm, if I keep kissing you, were gonna have to head home right now baby~”

you: “Tetsuro, this meeting is literraly about keeping your company and making it a bigger establishment... We are not gonna drop it to go fuck.”

“But honey~”

*smaking the back of his head*

you: “I will leave you high and dry next time you try it.”

*Kuroo def becomes a little pouty after you say that*

*while at dinner a conversation about you breaks through while youre in the restroom*

“So, you’re married to your assistant... How’s that like?” The man in front of him asked, with his own wife absent at the moment. “Oh, um... They’re really great- Y/n a great partner and theirs nothing more I could ask for.” He man scoffs before taking a drink, “Did they work for you before you got marries?” Kuroo nods, “I met them a fem years ago during a one on one interview, they have been working with me ever since.” The executive nodded, clearing his throat. “They a good fuck?” He asked, shocking Kuroo. “Excuse me?” He asked, making sure he didn’t hear him incorrectly. “I asked, are they a good fuck. Someone like that seems too good for our work, bet their probably a sleazy bitch who-” Kuroo go up from his seat a reached over to grab the mans collar. “Speak of my spouse with that manner ever again and i wont hesitate to ruin your life. You know what they learned about you before we got here. They found out that you’re having an affair- and they just happen to be pregnant... Seems to me that your hush money wasn’t enough. How about we tell your wife and kids that you just happened to start a new, hidden, life without them.” Little to Kuroos knowledge you where a few steps behind the table and happen to hear everything your husband had just threatened to spill. “Tetsuro...” You mumbled, setting your hand on his shoulder. “Sit down...” You looked back at the executive and smiled sadisticly, “You heard my husband... Finding about your second life wasn’t so hard.. Maybe I could send it to your wife in a matter of seconds if you don’t get up from this table, agree to our side of the contract and then leave. We’d like to enjoy our dinner in peace.”

“How much did you hear?”

“Right... Let’s just forget this ever happened and enjoy the dinner we deserve.”

“That was so, so, delicious” (8:00 pm)

“Did you enjoy your dinner?”

“Good, let’s get a bottle to go, yeah?”

“Home, sweet fucking home.”

“Come here, we’ll open the bottle later.”

*ya’ll accidentally fall asleep on the couch bc you guys work so hard together... its a cute sight*

Extra:

you: “Kuroo wake up, someones trying to get in.”

“No one is trying to break in.”

Kenma: “No she’s right I was trying to break in... I forgot my switch charger here and I need it.”

More of Husband Kuroo: here

[nanami-haruka1]

You make me burn - quackity x reader

Tags: fluff, soulmate AU, maybe ooc quackity??

CW?: Cursing

character(s): CC!Quackity x Reader

AN: no motivation, just pain and coffee. ALSO I TRIED POSTING THIS YESTERDAY AND IT DIDN'T WORK

Word count: 1,508 There was no reason at all to be excited for the day, it was the same as any other day - You woke up at 6 AM, took a shower, brushed your teeth and hair, got dressed, and then headed off to work. Your life was very routine, very boring, and very lonely. But you always said you wanted to be independent, you wanted to run solo without any distractions or people in your way, especially a soulmate - So why did it hurt so much?

All your life you’ve been taught about soulmates, how two or more people can simply touch each other in the easiest of ways and feel like they’re burning, like their heart was gonna burst. You thought it was a bunch of bullshit, there was no way it was that simple, and if it was then why haven’t you found your soulmate yet? Why couldn’t you just say someone was your soulmate and then it happens?

So you were always a bit skeptical as a kid, now you’ve completely let the idea of soulmates go, if anything it was holding you back from your career and life in general. But your friends were persistent on you “Finding your one true love” as they say. They’ve set you up on countless blind dates and - as you can tell, none of them worked out.

Ding!

Speaking of the devil it was one of those friends you had just texted you.

Hey Y/N!! So we found this really cute guy today at a local cafe and now you have to be at XXXXX cafe on XXXX avenue at 7:30 PM!!! His name is Alex, He’s a real catch! <333”

“Are you kidding me?” That was the thought that had immediately came to mind after you read the text, you knew your friends cared about you and just wanted you to be happy but you didn’t even know this guy, you barely even had time for yourself let alone a relationship, AND 7:30 was an HOUR after you got off work, you’d look like a mess!!

But you knew your friends, so when you got home you started to get ready, you had taken a look at the cafe and looked almost like a bookstore - pretty casual. So you dressed in a gray button-down, a dark green sweater, and a black skirt/pants. You didn’t have to do much styling to your hair - just a small brushing and then you grabbed your bag with necessities (money, phone, phone charger, makeup if you put any on, ect), then you put your shoes on and headed to the cafe.

“Um, hello i’m waiting for someone, is there anyone here that's waiting too?” You nervously asked the person at the front, you were never good at talking to strangers, a complete 180 from your normal personality.

“Oh! Yes, there's a guy over there who said he was waiting for someone.” The person pointed over at a table to a boy with an LAFD(Los Angeles Fire Department) beanie on scrolling through his phone, you nodded and thanked them and then headed over to the table with hesitance.

“Uh, hi..Are you alex?” You had to speak up and repeat the question because he didn’t hear you, he put his phone down once you repeated what you said and flashed a grin “Yeah, you’re Y/N, right? It’s nice to meet you.” He sounded so happy, so confident, you were kind of envious how he could sound so casual in a situation like this.

After talking for a short minute he asks an abrupt question - “Have you met your soulmate yet?” He sounded different now, a bit more curious and even a bit serious. You were intimidated at the least by his change of demeanor but it was rude to ignore someone - “Well..I'm here so, I guess that kind of answers the question, No offense though!” You were digging yourself a grave, maybe this was why you haven’t found your soulmate, because you make things awkward.

“None taken, I was just wondering, uhhh.. Tell me about yourself, what kind of games do you play if you play any at all?”

That was the start of a really nice night, very surprising to you that you and him got along well. You found out he was a law student and streamed on twitch and he found out you were a Medical administrative assistant (successful i know) and very funny. At the end of the night you two exchanged phone numbers and went your separate ways, you thought he was a really nice guy and even gained back a sliver of hope in soulmates, but you wouldn’t know - you didn’t make physical contact with him that entire time.

~~--*Skip forward to the next morning oOoOoOoOo*--~~

Ding! Ding! DIng! Ding!

The sound of text messages woke you up, this happens every time you get set up. You already knew what kind of questions were in store for you. Ones like “How did it go?” “Is he the one?” “Did you like him?” “Was he funny?” “Is he your type?” “Will you go on another date with him?”. You answered as flatly as possible, simply replying with a good morning and a no he wasn’t the one. But something told you he was the one.

After your shift you went home and made dinner, then got a familiar dinging noise from your phone, expecting it to be a friend of yours - it was not a friend of yours. In fact it was the same guy who made you confused about your own heart and mind.

“Hey! Sorry to bother you but I was wondering if you wanted to hang out next tuesday, you can choose the place!” It was from Alex, he wanted to hang out? With you? For some reason it made you happy inside, but you quickly shoved the feeling down - you barely know him. You would’ve said no in any other circumstance but your heart had taken control of you and you said yes to the offer.

It wasn’t that bad though, in fact you didn’t even have work next tuesday, you would have all the time in the world and no worries. After some thinking you both agreed to go to a park at 5’ o’clock. You couldn’t deny that you were a little excited, you haven’t gone on a proper date or even a second date in well- ever.

~~--*timeskip x2 to next tuesday*--~~

You woke up early and immediately started getting ready, you took a shower, brushed your hair and teeth, got dressed and ate breakfast before getting a text from Alex - “Hey Y/N, really excited to see you today :)” it made you smile just the slightest bit, you could only reply with the same amount of excitement “Yeah! I am too, see you then!!” Today would be eventful.

When you got to the park you saw Alex sitting on a bench once again scrolling on his phone, you quietly walked up behind him making sure he couldn’t see your reflection in his phone, and-

“Hey Alex” “AAAH! Holy shit Y/N that scared me!”

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself, It was way too tempting.” You replied with a grin, and it wasn’t forced, it was pure genuine happiness.

You and Alex talked for hours on end, and I mean that literally because by the time you stopped the sun was down and he was driving you home. It was that feeling again, like your heart was gonna burst, but it seemed different, Your body was practically screaming at you to make even the slightest bit of physical touch to him. You couldn’t ignore it.

So you thought about an excuse, then one popped into your mind. You grabbed your phone out of your bag and started typing something until- Whoops! It fell over onto his side of the car. You apologized and asked him to get it for you, and when he held his hand out with your phone in it it felt like time had slowed down. Nervously you grabbed your phone while making an effort to get some physical contact.

The car came to a full stop as your eyes widened, it was there, that feeling again, but it was way stronger. You were burning. And by the look on his face he was experiencing the same thing, he turned his head towards you with the same realization in his eyes.

“Y/N, i- wait..you feel it too right?” He seemed out of breath even though he hadn’t ran.

You nodded after your brain finished processing what happened, oh my god he was your soulmate.

He drove you back home and after both of you got out of his car he pulled you into a hug, he felt so happy, and you felt the exact same way. When your goodbyes were over he told you he wanted to hang out again, but as more friends

Maybe soulmates weren’t so bad after all.

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

Wrong Number, Asshole - A Bakugou Katsuki Soulmate AU

All Parts

Part 6:

You ran your hands through you hair, scratching angrily at your scalp in frustration. You were tired of school- tired of homework, and studying, and misery, but it never seemed to let up.

You blamed your quirk.

Yours was a creation quirk, and while at first that might seem impressive, to you the skill very quickly lost it’s shine. You could create gears, and screws, and any machine part you’d ever seen before just by manipulating the matter around you- but that was it. Just machine parts. You couldn’t create machines that already worked, only the parts necessary to build them. 

So, dealt the borderline useless hand you were, you decided to go to a university specializing in Support. You already knew you’d never be an active duty hero, but that was alright, you’d abandoned that dream long ago. Instead, you dedicated yourself to engineering and support courses, in hopes that one day you’d finally be able to build something of use with your machine parts. 

But as of now? That dream was not looking likely. 

This final project was eating you alive; it was your last year, and you were so close to the finish line, but you couldn’t for the life of you figure out what to do for this last project. 

The premise was simple - design a prototype gadget for an already active hero.

At least, it was supposed to be; but, no matter how many news reels you watched, or how many hero forums you scoured, you could not find a hero you felt inspired by. All of the top heroes were already so powerful and capable- what could someone like you even hope to design for them?

You huffed, even if the hero you picked would never see your design, you still wanted it to be good. It was your final project after all, and you didn’t come this far just to fail at the last second. 

You glanced at your clock - 9:37 PM.

You’d been sat at your desk all night, laptop open and pouring over the hero ranking list. There were lots of interesting heroes, but your current favorites were Froppy and Uravity. They weren’t the flashiest heroes, nor did they have the most powerful quirks, but they were resourceful and intelligent and exactly the type of hero you’d always wished you could be. 

You’d been watching clip after clip of the two of them, reading article after article, but you still couldn’t come up with a prototype idea. You were inspired by their heroic actions, their humble attitudes, and their interesting fighting styles, but none of that seemed to matter. Your creative juices just weren’t flowing. 

Oh well, you sighed. I still have a few months, might as well go to sleep before I stress myself out even more. 

You stood, packing your desk up, and looking under papers for your phone. You’d lost it sometime around 6:30, when you’d thrown it down carelessly in a fit of utter frustration. You hadn’t bothered to look for it since then. When you did find it, it was halfway under your bed, and you rolled your eyes at your own stupidity. You grabbed it, watching as the screen lit up. 

baku bitch boy - 2 new messages 

Huh? 

That’s weird. You thought. I really never thought he’d text me first or that he even wanted anything to do with me. 

Even so, you couldn’t help the small smile rolling across your lips as you checked the messages. 

You blinked, smile steadily growing wider. 

He sent those at 7:44. Apparently he’d gotten very used to your little routine of messaging him around 7. 

You couldn’t help the warmth in your cheeks, nor the way your stomach flipped- this was proof right? That he at least, at the very least, didn’t mind you talking to him. That he’d seek you out even if he pretended he was annoyed the entire time. 

You felt like a little girl again- suddenly giddy and warm all over at the thought of your soulmate. Bakugou certainly wasn’t what you expected, but with recent developments you were sure now. He wasn’t bad- not bad at all. 

His reply was near instantaneous, and that only made you warmer. Even if he was insulting you, Bakugou still asked you a question. A question that would prolong the conversation, and seemed to show genuine interest- well, maybe only if you squinted real hard, but still, this was progress. 

You damn near seized, a loud chortle escaping your mouth before you could clamp your hand over it. You threw yourself back on your bed, holding your phone high above your face, and blinking at the message in disbelief.

Oh- so he lead you along like that just to shut you down? He thought he was funny, did he? 

Well, alright, given a second thought, maybe he was. At least to you. You found it funny, found him funny, and were pleasantly surprised with the course of this conversation. Maybe even a little thrilled- but only if you let yourself feel that giddy. But you didn’t. Because you weren’t a child, and Bakugou was just your asshole soulmate. 

You felt like squealing, felt like jumping up and doing a spin. You couldn’t help it. He was just so cute. Sure, maybe he was still angry and entirely incapable of owning up to his feelings, sure, but so so cute. 

You shut you phone off, hands pressing against your warm cheeks. You couldn’t stop smiling. 

You thought Bakugou was adorable. Just the cutest little rabid dog ever, and you couldn’t wait to pick on him more. Even if he was more difficult than you imagined, he was still a lot more fun. 

Little wins, you supposed, little wins. 

You went to bed smiling, and when you woke up that next morning, you were still smiling. 

[write-orflight]

Galileo. Prologue

**Gif Not Mine**

Next Chapter

Pairings: SpencerXReader, enemies to friends to lovers trope

Rating: M

Words: 1.5K (She’s a smol Prologue)

Warnings: None right now. but will eventually be smut. 

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary: Y/N is an astronomer with her head constantly in the stars. But when a serial killer is threatening NASA’s top scientists, she is left in the protective custody of a man who’s gravitational pull threatens to pull her back down to earth.

A.N Hey, my children! This is an idea that’s been plaguing me for weeks and I just had to get at least the prologue out (This series is mainly just my excuse to get my pointless knowledge about space out there). I’m probably not going to update this until I finish ‘trouble’ which should be in this next coming week. I’m just really excited about this one and wanted to put it out there too. Message to be on the taglist! -Cia

                         Prologue: Mercury 

There are 400 billion stars in the galaxy. 

Some insignificant, some small, some large, and some with great potential. 

Humans were the same way. Though most were insignificant to you, which is why you didn’t indulge in the trifles of relationships and companionship. The stars were far more interesting to you. 

And you spent your life studying them. 

Ever since your dad bought you your first telescope at age 7, you knew exactly what your purpose was. To study and find out what else was out there. And for a while that was all you did, all through school, no time for boys, friendship and trivial prepubescent things, your mind was literally in the clouds. That carried you all the way to Yale where you graduated Summa cum Laude with 3 Phds in Astronomy, Engineering, and Physics. 

Getting the job at NASA wasn’t surprising to you at all. 

Meeting Jonathan was. 

Your first day together had been uneventful, you had been introduced and told your assignment which was to just track the movement of a comet that came every fifty years. A couple of months in and by pure accident you saw her. 

It couldn’t be. 

You immediately yelled at him to come over, to confirm that you were just crazy but he had seen it too. You had just discovered a planet. And not just any planet one that through your research could very well sustain human life. Jonathan, though not knowing you long, picked you up in a giant hug and swung you around. You couldn’t help the smiles and tears that had fallen from your eyes. This was exactly why you were doing this, for the art of discovery and the overwhelming feeling that came with it. 

After weeks of convincing the boards and getting funding, you and Jonathan were now heads of your own department solely designed for tracking and finding new information on Gaia, the planet the two of you graciously named. Now your nights were filled with solving equations and trying to get more than a glimmer of Gaia from your telescope. Alas, as much as you loved her, she was very slow. Jonathan would play his old jazz records and sing off-key dancing around the planetarium gifted by NASA. You didn’t know exactly when they happened, but you started to feel like maybe all humans weren’t insignificant and you started to feel like that about Jonathan. You found yourself watching his bright smile as he danced and singed around, often asking you to please dance with him, which you always declined. 

Now you wish you had. 

If you knew it’d be the last time, you for sure would have. 

But no one could’ve predicted a serial killer coming after NASA scientists. 

And no one could’ve predicted you walking into work and seeing your best friends throat slit ear to ear. 

————————————————— 

The months following Maeve’s death were hard on Spencer. He was a man of science, he knew probability and often relied on statistics for his job. The predictability of it was what made it easy to cope.  

But sometimes it wasn’t. And sometimes he hated the unpredictability of his job. 

Losing Maeve had definitely been one of those days. 

On one of his first couple weeks back, he’s called into the briefing room. 

“We don’t have to go far for this case.” JJ says manning the slides to show the team “Four NASA scientists at the Goddard Flight Center in Maryland have been found in their offices, throat slit and hands bound with duct tape behind the back.”

“Execution style…” Morgan says with a grimace. “Brutal.” 

“Obviously someone angry too.”  Emily adds. “To just do it like that, no sign of remorse. But the jaggedness of it makes it look passionate.” 

“The police and NASA believe they know who the next target is as well.” JJ adds moving to the next slide which showed a beautiful girl standing in front of a whiteboard of equations. Long silky hair tied up in a bun, glasses on her face and bright white teeth shown through the smile. You could obviously tell the picture was taken for an article or sort. Spencer thought she was cute but didn’t dwell on it long. “This is Dr. Y/N Y/L/N. She worked alongside Victim #4, Jonathan Brewer as co-head scientists of the Terra-Mora project.” 

“They think the Unsub is specifically targeting her department and people who have done work for her department. And if he’s already killed the partner...” Hotch trails off. 

“He’s escalating…” Spencer adds. 

“Which puts her under extreme risk. Which is why I’m putting her in protective custody.” Hotch adds. “Reid, I’d like you to do that.” 

Spencer looks confused. “Why me? Shouldn’t someone like Morgan or Prentiss go?” 

“I’ve been told Dr. Y/L/N is very reluctant about having security. I figured having someone as intelligent as her would cushion the blow.” 

Spencer leaned back in his chair. Great… just what he needed. 

————————————— 

“No, Clifton.” 

“It’s not up for discussion, Y/N.” Cliff says walking away from you down the hall. You speed up to catch up with him. 

“I’m 31 years old! I don’t need a babysitter.” You said, angrily. 

“You’re not getting a babysitter, Y/N. The FBI is being gracious enough to provide you extra security. I’m sure I don’t have to remind you people are dying.” 

“You know you don’t have to remind me! I lost Jon!” 

“Then you know why you have to take protection, Y/N. You know what important work you and Jonathan were doing. You’re the only one left to finish it. Please just let someone take care of you while they catch the sick man who’s doing this.” You sigh, Cliff takes that as compliance. “Now get to work. I’ll show him to your office when he gets here.” 

You walk into work and look at the time, 10:30 PM, peak time for planets to be seen. And if you were lucky, you’d probably get a glimmer of her again. You were right because just as soon as you stepped up to the telescope there she was, or more like there was a sliver of her. You’ve never been able to get a full look at Gaia, but just past Saturn was the curvature of the dwarf planet you adored so much. You pick up your tape recorder, and begin to speak into it.

“January 16th, Terra-Mora logs. This is Dr. Y/N Y/L/N. Dr. Jonathan Brewer has passed and will no longer be making logs.” You choke up a bit but clear your throat and keep going. “Gaia’s Southwest region is visible from earth tonight. Seems her clouds are finally dissipating, and you can see some of her icy plains, I am pretty positive it’s a lake. Hopefully with the Approval of SPOT, we’ll be able to know for sure what’s up there.” You look at your door to see your boss, Dr. Clifton and a man standing watching you. “Y/L/N out.” You say into the tape recorder. 

You get up to walk over the two men. 

“You know everyone does their logs into the computers now, no one uses an actual tape anymore.” Clifton says. 

“I’m old fashioned.” You cross your arms. 

“This is Dr. Spencer Reid with the Behavioral Analysis Unit. He will be watching you while we figure out what’s happening.” 

“This is who’s supposed to be protecting me?” You ask. “You look like a strong wind would blow you over.” 

The man looks at you annoyed. “I can assure you, I’m more than capable of doing my job, Miss--” 

“Doctor.” You say. 

“Excuse me.” 

“It’s Dr. Y/N Y/L/N. And I worked very hard and paid a lot of debt for the title so I’d prefer it if you used it.” You looked annoyed right back at him. Something about the man rubbed you the wrong way. 

Dr. Clifton looks at the both of you uncomfortable. “Well I’ll leave you both to it.” He nods at you both before leaving you alone.  

“I think we got off on the wrong--” 

“Listen Dr. Reid.” You cut him off. “This is probably going to be hell for the both of us. I expressed heavily to my boss about not needing protective custody which of course fell on deaf ears, so I’m going to make one thing clear. We’re not here to be friends. I’m here to do important work that I now have to do single-handedly because you guys failed to do your work in the first place and my coworker had to die because of it.” Tears threatened to choke you but you didn’t let them. “And to be frank, I don’t know what exactly you’re here for besides being a pain in my ass so I suggest staying out of my way and not fucking touching anything. Keep that in mind and we’ll get along swimmingly.” You say, turning your back to him, heading back to the telescope and looking at him as if daring him to challenge you. For a second it looks like he might, he’s standing trying very hard not to look like he’s completely fuming. Then he just blows a frustrated breath and sits in a chair halfway across the room. 

You didn’t know why, and you didn’t have a real reason. 

But you decided that you hated Dr. Spencer Reid. 

Which you guessed was another thing humans could be.   

Message to be tagged!

[moon-light-jukebox]

“All you have to do is ask.” Chapter 6 - [Reid x Reader]

previous chapter // series index // next chapter

Summary: After a long stretch of crimefighting, Reader and Spencer finally get a chance to spend some time together. Reader is ready to give Dr. Reid the proper introduction to female domination and BDSM he asked for.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x (Female) Reader

Category: 85% Smut, 10% Fluff, 5% Angst.

Word Count: 7.9k for Chapter 6

Content Warnings: BDSM, Femdom, thigh riding, pegging, orgasm denial, spitting, slapping, bondage, sub drop, aftercare, brief mention of menstruation (just in case that needs a warning). This chapter is filthy, y’all. 

A/n: Before we begin, I wanted to give a small warning. When I started this story, I wanted to give an honest portrayal of BDSM/Femdom. The before, during, and after are equally important. Sub/Dom drop is a very real and emotional thing. But don’t worry, Reader is always there for our nervous boy.

y/n = your name. y/l/n = your last name. Italicized text is Reader’s thoughts.

-- Chapter 6 – “Dirty thing” --

Things started to move so fast after Illinois. We arrived home late Sunday night only to be called back out on Monday morning to assist the Tucson Police with a child abduction. We were finishing up the paperwork when the call came in from Florida about a series of car-jackings that weren’t really car-jackings.

It had been more than 2 weeks since that night in the hotel room, and all I had since then were just moments with my Dr. Reid. He sat next to me on the plane sometimes, his hand resting on my thigh when he was certain no one could see. He had placed a kiss on the back of my neck while we were standing in the conference room in Florida. I was surviving on these stolen moments.

Spencer seemed to be happy with our first BDSM experience together, which was a relief to me. I had never had a submissive that was inexperienced before. I felt a great deal of pressure where he was concerned; I knew the toll one bad partner could have on a person.

Some nights Spencer would call me from his hotel room. I would give him instructions on how I wanted him to touch himself; listening to his desperation grow every time he brought himself to the edge and I pulled him back. We experimented a bit with degradation. Learning the complexities of Spencer Reid was quickly becoming one of my favorite pastimes.

After Florida we made a brief stop in Alabama; Hotch informed us that we were only spending one night here and that we would be departing at 7:30 am the following morning. Our unit chief also swore that we were going to have the weekend off; no interruptions. I’ll believe it when I see it, was all I could think. Glancing around to the rest of the team, I could see they agreed with me.

We all had separate rooms that night, thankfully. If I had to listen to Emily snore for one more night, I might lose my mind. I wasn’t sure how JJ did it. Coming into my room, I kicked my shoes off and headed for the bed. I pulled my phone out of my bag before I very unceremoniously flopped down on the bed. The pace of the last 2 weeks was starting to wear on me.

I brought up my text messages when there was a hesitant knock on my door. It was just past 8 pm; it was risky, but I knew it had to be Spencer. I hurried towards the door, throwing it open to reveal his sheepish face. Wasting no time, I grabbed him by his shirt and dragged him into the room.

“What are you doing?” I hissed. “Someone could have seen you.”

"I'm not allowed to go to my friend's room to hang out?"

He has a point. “Well, you never know! It’s better to be safe.”

His full lips turned down into a pout. “I just wanted to spend some time with you. I missed you, y/n.” Is my heart fluttering like that a sign of a medical problem? I wondered. “And not just the…stuff we do. I just…I just missed being with you.”

How could I stay mad at that? “I missed you too, baby.” I took his hand in mine, guiding him over to the bed. He propped up on the pillows beside me, both hands coming up to loosen his tie.

“Can I ask you a question?”

I snorted a bit. “Yeah, Doc, I think you can ask me anything you want at this point.”

“Well,” his cheeks were starting to turn pink. “We’ve been…” I wonder what he’s gonna call it. “…serious”Hmm, that’s fair. “for almost 4 weeks now, 27 days and 14 hours, give or take, depending on when you wanted to say this started.”

“Get to the point, darling.”

“Right,” he muttered. “Well, we’re supposed to have this weekend off. And I don’t have any plans.” He dropped his eyes to his hands which were twisting nervously. “I understand if you have plans, of course. Or you’re just not in the mood. Statistically speaking, given the time we’ve spent together,” your likely to have your period soon-“

“Woah,” I interrupted. “Let’s pump those breaks, Doc.” Spencer looked horrified that he had rambled on so much and equally relieved that I had stopped him. “First of all, I have an IUD. I don’t get my period very often.” I can’t believe he’s talking about my period. “And second, the only plans I have this weekend involve grocery shopping and laundry.”

“Oh,” he said quietly. “Me too.”

I pulled my lips together between my teeth to try and suppress my smile. “Are you asking about my weekend plans because you’re interested in being a part of them? Or just out of curiosity?” Come on, Doc. All you have to do is ask me.

“I was-I was wondering if you wanted to spend some time together this weekend? If you’re not busy.”

My sweet, sweet boy. I stretched my body up, bringing my lips to his. I brushed my mouth over his in a very sweet and unhurried kiss. “No, Doc. I’m not busy.” I felt his lips smile against my own. “And maybe we can try some new things if you’re interested.”

“I’m more than interested in everything related to you,” he breathed against my lips.

--

It was decided that Spencer would come to my apartment Saturday in the early evening. I left the exact time up to him, in case he had anything he needed to do on this rare weekend off.

It was around 2 pm when my phone chimed with a text message from him.

“What time is okay for me to come over?”

I laughed out loud; I should have expected this. “Whenever you want, Doc.”

His response was immediate, which was also rare. “Can I come over now?”

“Sure, Doc. But I want you to bring something with you.”

--

I pulled open the door a short time later to find a very nervous looking Spencer Reid. Even out of work, he was still dressed the same as always. He had dark slacks on, a navy shirt, and a cardigan, he had forgone the tie today, and he was clutching the strap of his messenger bag for dear life.

“Hi, Doc,” I greeted him with a huge smile before waving him in. I saw him taking inventory of my apartment. From the art on the walls to the rug on the floor to the books on the bookshelf. "You need a bigger bookshelf," he said at last.

He wasn’t wrong. “I suppose I do. But not all of us can have a whole wall as a bookshelf, Doc.” I put my hand on his arm, pulling him into my living room, then down onto my couch. His entire body was tense, his eyes moving around nervously. I leaned closer, putting my hand on the side of his face, drawing his gaze to meet mine.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” I reminded him.

“I want to do this. I do.” He swallowed nervously, flexing his fingers. “I just…I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what’s going to happen. And I don’t want to mess up. And I’m so nervous that I’ll do something wrong.”

I leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Hey, hey. Take a breath. I’m serious. Take a deep breath.”

He rolled his eyes but complied.

“Spencer, I don’t expect you to just come in here and jump into a world that you’ve never been a part of before. I’m nervous too.”

That had his eyes widening. “You are? But why? You know what you’re doing.”

It doesn’t feel like I do. “Every person is different, Spencer, and I haven’t cared about a submissive the way I care about you in a long time.” My boy smiled at that. “Before we do anything, we’re going to let you get comfortable. I’m not going to do anything that we haven’t already discussed. If you feel uncomfortable, say “yellow” and I will pull back. If you don’t want to do anything more, say “red” and we will stop right then.”

He bit his full bottom lip, his eyes widening as he continued to meet my gaze. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”

Just when I think my heart can’t possibly handle another crack in it. I cupped his jaw in both of my hands. “You could never disappoint me, Spencer. Never.” I said the words with 100% sincerity and honesty. It was true. “Even if you decide this isn’t what you want and you walk out right now, I’ll never be disappointed.” If he left right now I would feel a lot of things, but disappointment in him wouldn’t be one of them.

“Okay,” he breathed. “Can…Can I kiss you now? I don’t know-“

I leaned closer, my lips hovering millimeters from his own. “Yes,” I whispered. “You can kiss me.”

His lips were tender as they brushed mine. It was like nothing we had done previously mattered, my nervous boy was still so afraid, but still so desperate and so curious.

I pulled back right as his tongue flicked over the seam of my mouth, resting my forehead against his. “Let’s not get carried away,” I chuckled. “I still need to talk to you.”

Spencer sat back, his hands folded on his lap, looking at me expectantly.

Forever the eager student. "The scene begins when I send you into the bedroom alone. It ends when you cum. That can always change if you decide you want it to stop." He needed to know that. “Since this is your first experience, I want you to be prepared for some pretty intense emotions once we’re done, I promise I’ll be right here with you to get you through anything, should you feel it.” My boy’s eyes were wide, but he nodded. Still so trusting. “I’ll be using toys on you this time. I ordered them a few weeks ago and they’ve all been sterilized.”

His brow quirked at that. “You had to buy them?”

It was impossible to contain my laugh. “I didn’t think you’d be okay with toys that had been used on other people, no matter how well I sterilized them.”

The horrified expression on his face did nothing to help me suppress my laughter.

“Anyway,” I went on, still attempting to get myself under control. “I have various sizes for different things. I assume you’ve never done any sort of anal play on your own?”

There’s that blush. “No, y/n, I haven’t. Does that matter?”

“No, sweet boy, not in the way you think. I just want to make sure you’re comfortable. So, we will start with smaller sizes. If you decide you like it, we’ll work up to bigger ones. Or if you like the small ones, we can stick with those.”

He was shifting his hips unconsciously. “You’d be okay with that?”

Moving quickly, I lifted my leg over both of his, my hands pushing his shoulders to the back of the couch, my heat settling over his cock. He’s already a little hard, I thought with a smirk. I leaned forward, my mouth finding the softness of his neck, my lips skimming down to his pulse point before placing a soft kiss there.

Spencer groaned softly, his hands resting on my hips. He knew our scene hadn’t started yet, which made him bolder with his touch.

Kissing my way up to his ear, I took the lobe between my teeth, tugging softly, before I spoke. "I just want to fuck you, Dr. Reid. I don't care what size cock I fuck you with." I don't know if he shivered at the feeling of my breath against him or at my words. Hopefully both. I placed one last kiss on his neck before I moved off of him.

His bewildered expression amused me greatly. “But, before any of that, did you bring what I asked?”

It took my brilliant boy a second to remember what I was talking about. He reached for the messenger bag beside him. “Yes,” he muttered, opening the bag to pull out several books. “But I wasn’t sure what sort of book you wanted me to bring. So, I brought a few different options.” He set 4 books down on my coffee table. “What are they for?”

“You’re going to read to me,” I said, not attempting to hide my smile.

"…I am?" At my nod, he said, "Oh..okay. Do you want to do that now?”

“Don’t look so disappointed, baby.” I held out my hand to him. “Come with me.”

Curious as ever, my boy followed me into my bedroom, his eyes scanning over the bed, resting on the small chest that sat at the end of it.  

“…Are we…” he trailed off.

"Sort of. I wanted to try something first before we officially start.” I turned to him, my fingers moving slowly up his chest until I reached his collar. “It will help me get you ready for later. Is that okay?” Still so nervous. Spencer nodded quickly; his pupils were already beginning to dilate. I rose up on my tiptoes to press a kiss to his pouty mouth.  "We're not really in a scene right now. I know that can be confusing, and it's not something I would normally do, but you've never done this, so I thought it would be best." I pressed another kiss to his jaw.  "You can touch me, just not under my clothes yet. Alright, baby?"

He mumbled his response while I pulled him forward until the back of my knees hit the bed, bringing him tumbling down with me. His hands tangled in my hair when my mouth found his. I didn’t pull away this time when his tongue flicked over my lips. I let him in with a soft sigh, moving my hands to tug on his soft, messy curls. I shifted until my pelvis was aligned with his, beginning to rock slowly.

This whole exercise was a bit of a tease, but I needed for him to be aroused for what I had planned. The more aroused he was the better.

I tugged his shirt out of the waistband of his pants, running my hands underneath the fabric. "Hey," he whispered, pulling back to smile at me. I ignored the way my heart fluttered at his tone. “You said not under the clothes.”

Smiling back at him, I hooked my leg around his hips, pulling him down further. I used that momentum to flip him onto his back while I straddled him. He looks so surprised, I thought smugly. He knows I help teach seminars on defensive tactics.  

“Wrong again, Dr. Reid,” I murmured, my lips moving down his cheek to his jaw, to his ear. “I said you couldn’t put your hands under my clothes, baby,” I whispered against his ear. “I can do whatever the fuck I want to you.” I brought my hand up to wrap around his throat, applying a small amount of pressure to each side. I pressed my still covered pussy against the bulge in his pants. “Isn’t that right, baby?”

Spencer didn’t even wait until the words were out of my mouth before he started to whimper. I lifted my body until I was sitting up then I brought my hands to his belt. My fingers were unzipping his fly before I spoke again. “I asked you a question, Dr. Reid. Or does that memory of yours stop working when you become a whimpering, needy little mess?” My words were harsher than they had ever been with him before; he’d really enjoyed the degradation we had done so far and said he was open to pushing it a bit further. Ask and you shall receive, baby.

I moved off of him then, rising to my feet at the side of the bed. First, I slid his shoes off. Then I reached up to pull his pants down. Then my thumbs hooked in the waistband of his underwear. I let out an exaggerated sigh as I climbed back on top of his body. My lower body was still completely covered but he was bare from the waist down.

He wasn’t prepared for when my right hand shot out and grabbed his face. My thumb digging into the left side of his face. “That’s twice you’ve not answered me, Dr. Reid.” I lifted my hand from his face and quickly brought it back down quickly. Not as hard as I had the last time we were together like this. Not yet.

“I’m sorry, Miss,” he whimpered. “I’m so sorry.”

“Are you?” I moved my hand down to grip his hard cock in my hand, squeezing him, enjoying the way his eyes fluttered at the action. “I don’t know if I believe that, Dr. Reid.” My hand was pumping him steadily now. “I think you need to apologize a bit better than that.”

His eyes shot open and he subconsciously licked his lips, causing me to chuckle and still my hands movements. “Oh no, you can’t have that. You haven’t earned that, my nervous boy. Look at you. Look how much your cock is leaking precum already.” I brought my hands up unbutton his shirt. “You’re just a needy thing, aren’t you? It’s almost pathetic.”

Spencer was shifting his hips again, trying to get some sort of friction. “I’m sorry, Miss.”

Once his shirt was unbuttoned, I brought my hands up to his throat, leaning down to kiss the tip of his nose. “I know.” I lifted up, raking my nails down his pale chest. “Which is why you’ll be my good boy now, won’t you?”

He nodded quickly, his eyebrows coming together when I moved off of him. I knelt in front of the trunk at the end of my bed. He propped himself up on his elbows as I opened the chest and pulled two items out before I moved back over towards him.

“Move up the bed, lay in the center.”

Crawling back onto the bed, I hovered above him, before I began to move down his body. I kept eye contact with him the entire time. It’s okay, baby. I would never hurt you. “Do you know what this is, Spencer?”

I think hearing his name surprised him; he forgot that we weren’t technically in a scene yet. I had only acted this way because I wanted to bump his simmering arousal up to a flaming inferno. I knew my boy would become more nervous if he wasn’t a whimpering, desperate mess. He nodded.

I pushed his legs up until his knees were bent, then I kissed up his right thigh, moving towards his cock. “I want you to be ready for when I fuck you.” I offered in way of explanation right before I moved to run my tongue up the underside of his cock.

Spencer threw his head back, tossing it against my pillows. I wrapped my fingers around the base of his cock while I moved him into my mouth. I didn't suck as hard as I normally did, instead of letting saliva slip from my mouth to coat him. After a few moments, I pulled off.

"I want you to touch your cock, Spencer," I said, uncapping the lube. "You're not allowed to cum. Remember that when you touch yourself. If you get so close that it's painful to stop, you have no one to blame but yourself. And if you cum, I will punish you."

His Adam's apple bobbed, his eyes moving from the butt plug to my hands then back to his cock. He wrapped his long fingers around it while I coated the plug with lube. Eyes fixed firmly on my hands; he started a slow rhythm. What a good boy.

I stroked his thighs as I moved the plug into position against his ass. His face was flushed with a mix of arousal and embarrassment, I think. I just smirked at him. “Don’t get shy with me now, baby,” I said as I slowly began to push inside of him. “I’m going to have you begging me to fuck your tight little ass before the day is over.” He whimpered, his hand speeding up slightly. “You do know that, don’t you, Spencer? I’m going to make you such a little slut for me.” The plug went in further, with almost no real resistance from him. “Jesus, it looks like you’re already a fucking slut.” His whimpers and groans were coming faster now. “Look at how you’re taking this plug,” I started to fuck it into him slowly. “I knew you were dirty, Dr. Reid. But I didn’t expect this.”

With one final small push, it was seated inside him. I reached to grab his hand, pulling it off of his cock. His lip was between his teeth, his forehead dotted with sweat. "You did so well, Spencer," I praised him. "You're more needy than I thought. I think I might make you bounce on my cock later." I moved off of the bed, reaching down to pick up his underwear before I tossed them to him. "I thought it would take some time to get you to ride me, but you're such a little slut, I'm sure you'll be begging for it soon."

He looked so confused, his fingers picking up his underwear. “Wha-“ he panted, his hips moving against my bed, already starting to be overwhelmed by the sensation.

“Put on your underwear, Dr. Reid; leave your shirt unbuttoned. Then come back into the living room.” I gave him a wide smile. “You still have to read to me.”

--

I sat on the couch, flipping through the books Spencer had brought, waiting for him to emerge from my bedroom. He really had done so much better than I expected. I wasn’t exaggerating when I said I was going to have him bounce on my cock. The thought of him moving over me, his head thrown back while I pumped his cock caused heat to pool between my thighs.

My eyes didn’t raise to look at him when he walked into the room. He sat to the left of me, where he had been before. His cock was still hard, his precum was leaving a damp spot on his underwear. “Which book do you want to read me, Dr. Reid?”

He groaned. “I-I don’t know if I can finish the whole book like this,” he mumbled, flushing a deeper red that went down to his neck.

“You don’t have to finish, darling boy.” I rose up from the couch then, undoing my pants before shimming them down my hips. “You just have to read to me until I cum.”

Spencer’s eyes went wide. Flickering from the books then back to where I was removing my shirt. I wasn’t paying attention to what book he picked; ultimately, it didn’t matter, I’m not sure I would be able to pay enough attention during this to even process what he was reading.

I stood before him in my bra and panties. He brought the thick book up to his chest, never so much as blinking while I moved over him. I put my thighs on either of his right thigh before I sat down, pushing the seam of my pussy against him through my underwear. I gripped his shoulders, moving my mouth to the tender area where his shoulder met his neck. Placing a soft kiss there, I moved my right hand down his chest, skimming over his stomach, then applying a teasing pressure to his cock over his underwear.

“Come on, Dr. Reid. You told me you’d read to me.”

His first few words were sure. I was almost positive this was one of the many books he had memorized, meaning he wouldn’t need to rely on the book itself to keep reading. This was probably good, as at the first rock of my pussy against his thigh, he released a soft groan, interrupting his words.

Smirking, I moved my hips more purposefully against him. My hands came up to grip his hair, pulling harshly. His moan once again made his words falter. “What’s wrong Dr. Reid,” I whispered sweetly against his skin. “Can you not focus on your book?”

“It’s…It’s so hard, y/n.”

I licked the vein running up his neck before I sucked on the skin. “I can feel just how hard it is, Dr. Reid.” I moved my mouth up to his ear again. “Take my bra off.” I expected him to fumble with this task, but he put his right hand behind my back and removed my bra in seconds. You’ve been holding out on me, Doc. Leaning back, I moved my hands to my own breasts, thumbing my nipples as I listened to Spencer read his book, his words barely registering in my mind.

“You don’t need both hands to read, do you?” He shook his head, his worlds never faltering from the story. “Good. I know how hard it is for you to sit here with that plug inside you. I know you’re thinking about how it will feel when I fuck you.” There’s that whimper, I thought. “I’m thinking about it too, Spencer.” My hips began to grind against him faster. “Put the book down but keep reading to me. If you stop your words, I’ll stop moving. The sooner I cum, the sooner you can get back into my bed.”

He placed the book down; his words a whisper now as he recited the book. “Touch me, Spencer. Make me cum like a good boy so I can finally fuck you like the little slut you are.” His hands gripped my hips, guiding my movements against his thigh, his mouth against my neck while he continued mumbling words I could barely hear against my skin.

"I've thought about fucking you before, you know," I said, my pussy becoming wetter and wetter against him. "The first time was on the jet. You had some book open in your lap. You were stretched out on the couch." I groaned as Spencer moved my hips faster and faster. "I thought about the look on your face if I just came over to you and sat on your lap." I moved to kiss his neck again. "I wonder what they would have said then." Dropping my hand down to palm his hot, hard cock over his underwear. "What would they have said if they saw Dr. Spencer Reid's big, pretty boy cock sliding down my throat?"

He was groaning now in between words, but the words were yet to totally falter. “I guess that would be better than them seeing you get fucked, right?” One of his hands moved up to my breast to pinch my nipple. “What would they think if they knew that their boy wonder, their resident genius, wanted to get his ass fucked and treated like a dirty little thing?”

I was so, so close. “Come on, Agent Reid. Make me cum. Make me cum all over your thigh so I can make you cum so hard you see stars.”

His words faltered then; his mouth moved to my shoulder, kissing it softly before he said, “I’d let the entire world watch anything if it meant I got to fuck you.” With that, he bit down on my skin. That small amount of pain caused my orgasm to break like a wave against me. Spencer kept moving my hips back and forth to help me ride it out.

The world came back into focus slowly, my breathing still harsh against Spencer’s shoulder. Gripping his shoulders, I pulled back to kiss him softly. He tried to turn the kiss into something deeper, his need making him desperate. I pulled back, looking in his eyes. “When you go into the room we really begin,” I whispered. “Green, yellow, and red. I need you to know I’m so proud of you, darling boy, even if we just end here. You’ve done so well.”

He whimpered again, confirming once again that he had a praise kink. “I want more, Miss. Please?”

I moved off of his body to sit back on the couch, picking up the book he had set down. “Go into the bedroom, take off all of your clothes. Lay in the center of the bed, hands by your sides. Do not touch yourself. If you do, I will punish you.”

--

When I finally made my way into the room a minute later, I found Spencer right where I instructed him to be. His cock was still hard; he was breathing rapidly. I stood at the edge of the bed, slowly slipping my panties off before I knelt down to open the chest again.

I had given this first scene a lot of thought. One day, I wanted to restrain him with my handcuffs when I fucked him. I could just imagine how he'd blush whenever he saw them after that. But, for this I had decided to use arm restraints that attached to the bars on my headboard, wrapping around his wrist with a Velcro cuff; he could open them if he needed to. I moved up on his left side, fastening one restraint to the bed, then walking to the right side, doing the same. His eyes were on my face, so expectant and so trusting.

I crawled on to the bed then, sitting myself on his firm stomach, my wet heat touching his skin. I leaned over to grip one cuff before I said, "Give me your hand, Dr. Reid." He complied without complaint or hesitation, then he did it again with his left wrist. I scooted my body down his until I felt his pubic bone brush against my still sensitive pussy. His breath hitched. "What's wrong, Dr. Reid?" I asked as I moved further down, my ass now resting over his cock.

“I-I can feel you. You-you’re so close.” His hands started to pull against the restraints, itching to reach out and touch me, push me back even further so his cock would finally touch the paradise that was my wet cunt.

I tsked at him, pouting my lips. “I know, darling boy. It must be so hard.” I moved my hands to his chest, bracing myself on one hand while the other reached up to wrap around his throat. “It’s so hard to so fucking needy, isn’t it, baby?” I moved back another inch.

He was whining under me now, shifting his hips relentlessly. Leaning forward, I placed my lips centimeters away from his own, my grip on his throat tightening just a bit. “It wouldn’t take much, Dr. Reid.” I brushed my mouth against his, laughing when I heard the restraints jerking against the headboard bars. “You know I won’t let you fuck me…but all it would take is just a shift of my hips.” I rocked back a bit, bringing my pussy right there, before drawing back up. “What would you give me for that, Dr. Reid? What would you do to feel my hot, wet, tight, little pussy rub against your pretty boy cock?”

“Anything,” his voice was so much higher than normal when he spoke. “I’ll do anything, Miss. Please. Please.”

You’re so good at this, baby. “You sound very pretty when you beg, Dr. Reid.” I placed one more chaste kiss on his top lip before I went back to a sitting position. Bracing my hands on his hips, I lifted my pelvis over his groin to settle on the tops of his thighs. His strangled groan was music to my ears. “You have been such a good boy…” I pretended to ponder this. “Tell you what, if you promise to ride my cock, to swirl your hips while you fuck yourself on top of me, I’ll let you feel me.”

He was nodding desperately, still pulling against the arm restraints. “Yes. Please. Please, Miss. I’ll do whatever you want.”

I moved his cock to lay flat against his pubic bone, the head pointing upwards towards his face. “I want you to watch, Dr. Reid.” I could feel myself dripping when I moved forward. Slowly, slowly, slowly, I placed the lips of my cunt around the width of his cock.

“Fuck." Spencer's eyes were glued to where my pussy was finally touching his cock. "You're so…fuck, you feel so good, Miss.”

This was the first time I had felt a man against me like this in longer than I wanted to admit. I should be scared, but I just couldn't be. It felt so right to be against him right now. I started moving my hips forwards and backward, much like I did when I rode his thigh. I looked down, watching his cock disappear as I slide my pussy over him. This wasn’t even sex in the way most people considered it, but being here, sharing this moment with Spencer was one of the most erotic and intimate moments of my life.

With one finally slide of my hips, I lifted off of him, getting off the bed completely.

“No, no, no, Miss, please come back.”

I looked back at him over my shoulder. His cock was wet with my arousal, his neck was flushed a bright red, his messy curls were sticking to his forehead, and his wrists were still pulling against the restraints. He is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

“My, my, Dr. Reid.” I moved back to the chest, reaching down to pull out my harness. “You might be the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen. Look at you,” I shot him a look of fake disapproval while I stepped into the harness, bringing it up to secure it around my hips. I had selected this strap-on for the specific reason that I could change the size of the dildo attached to it. So, for today I could use something smaller on my boy…until he was ready for something rougher, or bigger. Originally, I had planned on selecting the smallest dildo, but after seeing how easily he took the plug, I decided to move to the next size up.

Spencer watched with wide eyes while I pulled out my “cock”. I smirked at him. “Do you like it, Dr. Reid?” I slid the dildo into place, clip it into place. I moved closer to him, crawling up the bed, sitting on his right side. I brushed my fingers over his chest, feeling his racing heartbeat. Moving so quickly he didn’t have a chance to brace, I struck quickly, whipping my left hand up to backhand across the cheek. Rising up on my knees, I moved closer to him, gripping a handful of his hair with one hand, my other bracing myself on the headboard. “I am getting really fucking tired of not having my questions answered, Dr. Reid.”

He was positively squirming now, his pupils were huge, his mouth hanging open. “I’m sorry Miss, I’m so sorry. I can’t- I can’t think when you’re around me.” I had to fight very hard to stop my lips from spreading into a smile, but I think he saw my lips twitch anyway.

“Brat,” I muttered, yanking on his hair again, causing him to let out another whimper. “I think you need to apologize, Dr. Reid. You want to be my good boy, don’t you?” I tilted my head to the side, regarding him curiously. “Because, if you’re my good boy, I’ll let you cum. But…if you’re not,” I leaned down to whisper to him. “Well, bad boys get their pretty little asses fucked, but they don’t get to cum.”

“I’m sorry Miss,” he whined out. “I’m so sorry. Please let me apologize.”

“Open your mouth.” He did so without question, his arms pulling on the restraints harder when I spit into his mouth. “Swallow it.” Such a good boy. “Now, I want you to suck my cock, Dr. Reid. Can you do that? Suck my cock and get it nice and wet before I fuck you with it.”

His eyes were on my face; I could see just the smallest flicker of nervousness in those pretty golden-brown eyes. I’d never hurt you, baby. You know that. Almost as if he heard my thoughts, he opened his mouth for me. Releasing his hair, I brought my hand to the dildo, guiding it into his mouth. “That’s it, you’re doing so good, Dr. Reid.” I gave a few very shallow thrusts of my hips, watching his eyes flutter while his cheeks hollowed out. “I knew the first time you sucked my fingers that day on your couch that you’d be so good at sucking cock.” I moved my hand from the dildo to place it lightly against his throat. “You’re nothing but a cock slut though, right, Dr. Reid?” He moaned around me; I squeezed his throat in response.

Pulling out of his mouth, I smiled down at him while I moved further away. I placed a soft kiss on his cheek before I moved down the bed. “You know why I left your legs free, don’t you Dr. Reid?”

“I’m not sure Miss.” His response was breathy and immediate. You’re learning, my nervous boy.

“Oh, the great Dr. Reid isn’t sure? That must be first. I guess it’s probably hard for your big brain to work when all the blood is going to your cock.” I grabbed the lube from the side of the bed to place it beside his thigh. I pushed his legs up roughly, so his knees were bent again. “I left your legs free, Dr. Reid, so it’s easier to make you take my cock.”

I brought my right hand up to his cock, my grip not firm enough to be satisfying, but I wanted him to focus on that sensation, especially now. In reality, it probably didn’t matter, my boy looked too far gone to be embarrassed anymore. With my left, I grabbed the base of the butt plug, slowly pulling it out.

His breath caught in his throat, his top teeth digging into his bottom lip so hard it whitened. “What’s wrong, baby?” My tone was condescending as I worked the plug out a bit, before I pushed it back in a bit, fucking it out of him gently, much like how I fucked it into him. “What do you need, Dr. Reid?”

He knew what I wanted, I had told him multiple times, but will my boy be brave enough to give it to me. I pulled the plug out completely, tossing it to the side before I grabbed the lube. I squirted some into my right hand before I started to slick up the dildo, my eyes never leaving his.

“I-I want you to fuck me, Miss.”

“Hmm,” I acknowledged, my hands still moving up and down my ‘cock.’ “I’m not sure what you mean, darling boy. You’ll have to be a bit more specific.”

Spencer’s head thrashed, his thighs clenched, his stomach muscles tensed. “I need you to fuck my ass, Miss…Please. Please fuck my ass, Miss.”

My hand stilled. Goddamnit. Hearing those words out of him made my pussy clench, my own wetness starting to drip down my thighs. "All you have to do is ask, Dr. Reid.”

I moved into position between his thighs, bringing both of my hands up to grip his slim hips. Scooting forward, I lifted him up a bit until my knees were barely under him, just enough to tilt his pelvis up so I could see him. I ran one of my hands up his inner thigh. “You’re even pretty here, Dr. Reid.” I lifted my hips slightly, pressing the dildo against his asshole. “Hold still, baby. I know you’re so needy and that makes it so hard, but you can hold still for me, can’t you?”

He nodded rapidly, his hands fisted into balls, his wrists tugging against the restraints, his teeth still sunk into his lower lip. Usually, I would demand his words, but I understood how overwhelming this was for him. Free pass, my nervous boy. I slowly started to push inside of him. My gaze kept flicking between my ‘cock’ entering him and his face, watching for any reaction, any sign of hesitancy.  

“Please,” he whimpered.

I started making slow strokes, fucking the dildo into him in shallow, small thrusts. When I had about 4 inches inside of him, I put some more lube on my hand. I stroked some of it on the remaining 3 inches of the dildo, making sure I could bottom out inside him. The remaining lube I left on my hand…the same hand I brought up to grab his cock with.

“FUCK.” Spencer’s shoulders were raising off of the bed, his eyes locked on my movements.

“Does it feel good, Dr. Reid?”

"Green, green, green, fucking green," he muttered. Under normal circumstances, I would have laughed, but right now I just pitched my hips forward, burying the dildo inside of him. He let out a strangled moan that sounded like my name when my thighs hit his body.

"Look at that," I said softly. "Look at what a good little slut you are, Dr. Reid?" I started to thrust slowly, looking at his reactions to see which strokes seemed to have the biggest effect on him. Being a profiler comes in handy at the strangest times. “You’re such a pretty cock slut, baby.” The tempo of my thrusts sped up while I looked down to watch the dildo move in and out of his tight entrance.

“Miss, fuck,” he whimpered. “Miss, please fuck me harder.”

I moved my hips faster, watching as his mouth opened in a silent scream. I gripped his cock firmer in my hand. Building up a rhythm between jerking him off and fucking him. “Is this what you want, Dr. Reid? You want to be used like this? Like a filthy slut?”

“Yes, yes, Miss, please.” His eyes were fixed on my hand on his cock, on my hips moving quickly. “Miss, Miss, you’re so- Miss, I’m going to cum.”

“Oh, you are, are you?” I teased, slowing my hand slightly. My thighs still slapping against him as I fucked him.

“Please Miss,” he begged. “Please let me cum. Please, I’ll do anything. Please, please, I’m so fucking close.”

I gripped his cock harder, my pace never slowing. “Come on, Dr. Reid. Cum for me like the dirty thing you are.”

At my words, he let out the loudest moan I’d heard him make yet. His back was arching off the bed, as rope after rope of cum erupted from his cock. I slowed my pace, only giving a few shallow thrusts to work him through his orgasm.

Right as his orgasm started to end, I slowly withdrew the portion of the dildo that was still inside him.

I leaned over him to quickly undo the cuffs, freeing him. Moving off the bed, I unstrapped myself, letting the harness fall to the floor before I dashed into the bathroom connected to my room. Wetting the washcloth, I had already laid out, I grabbed my other supplies and hurried back into the room. Spencer was where I left him, his eyes fixed on the ceiling, unseeing.

I moved to sit between his legs. First, I wiped the cum and lube off his cock, murmuring my praises the entire time before I cleaned up the remaining lube from between his cheeks. Tossing the rag into the floor, I moved to kneel beside him on the bed. "Spencer," I whispered. "Spencer, you did so well. You were so wonderful."

His gaze fixed on mine, his eyes starting to fill with tears, his face a mask of confusion. “Y/n,” he said, his voice raspy. “Why-why-“

I pushed his hair off his forehead, bringing his arms in towards his body to check his wrists. “It’s okay, Spencer. It is fine. Your adrenaline and endorphins are hitting your body right now. This is what I was talking about that might happen. It’s called sub drop.” I cupped his jaw, my thumb brushing over his lips. “I’m right here, Spencer. I’m right here. And I’m so proud of you.”

I wanted to wait until he asked me to touch him, to be sure that was what he needed, but I just acted on instinct. I laid down beside of him and wrapped my arms around him. He turned his body to face mine, his knees curled up to hit my thighs. I stroked my hands over his back, murmuring softly to him the whole time.

After a few minutes had passed, and his breathing had evened out, I spoke again. “Spence? Do you think you can take a shower? The heat will make you feel better.”

He sniffled, his eyes never rising to meet mine. “I…I don’t know if I can leave you.”

In that moment, the tiny part of my heart that didn’t already belong to Spencer Reid, this marvelous, wonderful man, was cemented into his grasp. “Spencer, I need you to look at me, can you do that?”

His soft eyes finally rose to meet mine. They were wide and anxious and swimming with a much bigger and more frightening emotion. “Spencer, I’m not going to leave you. I’m going to take a shower with you. Then after we get cleaned up, we’re going to order some food and watch whatever you want to while we sit on my couch.” My words were hurried and dripping with honesty.

My darling boy’s face lite up with hope so bright it threatened to consume me. “You’ll stay with me?”

“You don’t even have to ask, Spence.” I pressed a kiss to his forehead.

--

The remainder of our Saturday went like I had planned. In our shower, I held his body under the warm water, I washed his hair, and I listened while he told me whatever fact came to his mind in that moment. After we were done, I got his messenger bag and brought him his clothes.  

Together, we cuddled on my couch. Him in his old Caltech t-shirt and sweatpants and me in loose t-shirt and leggings. We found some sci-fi show that he said was good that I had never seen to watch while we ate our takeout. I listened to everything he told me about the show, holding his body close to mine.

I felt the tension rise up inside of him the later it got. Which is why I turned to him with an over-exaggerated yawn and asked him the question he was too afraid to ask me.

“Hey, Doc?” I said softly. “It’s getting pretty late…and after…after everything we did today, I don’t really want to be alone. Would you mind staying with me?”

The relief I felt radiate off of him in that moment was so powerful I don’t know if I’ll ever forget the feeling. “Of course, y/n. I’d really like that.”

After I stripped and remade my bed and cleaned up any stray items that I may have missed earlier, I lead Spencer into my bedroom. I fell asleep that night with my arms wrapped around him, his back to my chest. I held my hand against his chest, feeling his heartbeat slow as he fell asleep in my arms. It took a long time for sleep to finally find me, but I didn’t mind. I was content to just feel the heart beating inside the chest of the best person I had ever known.

--

Series tag list: @abschaffer2​ @liaabsurd​ @brokenanxiety​ @thisiscalmandits-dr​​ @less-intelligent-spencerreid​​ @reidsmyhusband-emilysmymistress @cielo1984 @sarcasticsagittarius1998​ @101donuts​ @heyitssarahk @creepingfromthecorners​ @imjusthereformggcontent​ @fanfictionislifetho​ @annestine​ @boiled-onionrings​ @gublerspublers @dolanfivsosxox​ @lamusaeuterpe @publiusvirgilius​ @suzystuff

Permanent Taglist: @rachelxwayne​ @pinkdiamond1016​ @sickeninglyshoujo @justagirllookingforherplace​ @nanocoool​

[pl-panda]

The vines that bind us - Chapter 7

Chapter 1 || Previous || Next

-----------

After double-checking with security, it turned out that Tim Drake did not show to work. She sighed. Looks like more work for her… Just like Nathalie said.

She started by greeting the two plants in Mr. Drake’s office. Both were incredibly satisfied with themselves that they earned bigger pots. They were also even happier to see her. Next, she took care of her new plants. The two on her desk she quickly took a liking to. They were cute. Only the large plant that now stood in the corner next to the vent was snarky and dared to make an inappropriate comment about one of the office plants. The hole in that leaf was caused by a bullet thank you very much. Mari quickly and clearly explained where it made mistakes. 

With that done, she got to the paperwork that was left on her desk. There were many things to be done before the lunch break.

----------

Chloe was giddy the whole day. She got a green light to deal with the Liar in any way she wished. So many plans. So many possible revenge options. So many lawsuits to be filled. But as she was walking to the cafeteria, a new, even more devious, plan formed in her head. She would need the help of a certain stuck-up brat, but if she got him to help, it would not only destroy Lila but utterly ruin her. She already had several ideas from her other schemes that could be adjusted. Oh, this would be glorious if only she found… there!

Damian Wayne was not having a good day. He was in fact having a really, really bad day. His father had forbidden him from bringing another sword to work until his previous one is returned. Given how efficient the GCPD is, he would be lucky to get it before thirty. He was the only one of his brothers to arrive at WE before lunch, which led to more irritation. He definitely hated the corporate gossip about one Marinette Dupain-Cheng. How she was awesome, how she was a 'bamf' (whatever that meant), or how much they adored her kind-but-still-no-nonsense attitude. She took his sword!

“Wayne.” An irritating voice came from behind. Damian was of course aware that someone was behind him but dismissed it as an employee doing something unrelated to him. 

“Bourgeoise. What the heck do you want from me?” He spat

“To show you something.” She pulled her phone from the pocket of her jacket. He quietly admired how she found female clothing with pockets that deep. At the same time, he kept frowning at her.

“I swear, if it’s…” He didn’t finish, because she pressed ‘play’ and the video started. The whole thing laster about seven minutes. With each passing moment, his frown deepened and by the end, Chloe wondered how can he see anything when his eyes narrowed to two tiny slits. 

“I. want. her. dead.” He seethed through the clenched teeth.

“Good. But we can’t kill her. Mari forbid it and I know your father isn’t exactly fond of killing.”

“Tt. What. do. you. want?” He pronounced each word clearly.

“Simple. Destroy her with her own words.” She pointed to the group where she was clutching to Adrien’s arm for her dear life. “Mari-bear is too moral to play with her lies like that. Us? We play to win.”

“Fine. But I want my sword back.”

“Clever boy. I knew you could break into an evidence room.” Chloe smiled. “They returned it cleaned of blood the same afternoon. Guess you were too late.” 

“Tt.”

“Fine. I will get your precious sword. But if you try to mess with Mari…”

“I got enough of it from my father.” He scowled.

“Good. Now, onto the plan.”

---------

Mari didn’t come to eat lunch with Chloe. She was perfectly aware that the girl would start one of their plans and wanted to have an alibi. Instead, she dived into the paperwork that had to be done as soon as possible. It was going on good and if she dealt with it before the day’s ended, she would have time to try searching for her mother in the evening. She even inquired with the City Hall about the ownership of their old apartment and the answer should be coming any moment now. 

She was broken out of her concentration by a scream of rage and frustration.

--------

A few moments earlier

Damian stalked toward the group of teens that were relaxing from their intern duties. He could clearly see the Liar clutching to Agreste boy like a leech. Perfect for their plan. 

The boy had to agree that what Blonde concocted was both deviously brilliant and brilliantly devious. A perfect opening play. He made sure that he looked flawless before suddenly ‘appearing’ behind Lila and Adrien. 

“How could you?” He asked in an emotionless voice. His face was showing only traces of sadness. Just like he would look if it was for real.

“Who are you?” She asked dismissively.

“Really Lila?” He asked, allowing a small amount of water to appear in his eyes. It was not like him to cry at all, but his mother taught him all useful ways of emotional manipulations and tears were all the way on top of that list. “After all these years, our relationship meant so little to you? I specifically got this trip so we could reunite and you are just… hanging off of some french model?” 

“Listen here you…” She was interrupted when Chloe stormed, her heels clicking loudly around the cafeteria. Conveniently, everyone removed themselves when they saw Damian stalking toward intern-bitch. Speaking to police two days in a row is not a pleasant experience.

“Wayne. What’s the mess here.”

“Tt. You were right. She is a harlot.”

“Wayne?” Alya asked with wide eyes.

“Yes. You have the questionable experience of meeting a pissed Damian Wayne. My poor cake…” She moaned.

“Would you let that go, woman!?” He asked. This time he had no need to play his emotions. Bourgeoise never forgave him and Drake that Cake incident and it grated on his nerves. He paid her back.

“It was my birthday!” She raised her hands up. “And you are all idiots. Lila kept telling you how great her relationship with Damian was. And yet she is hanging off of Adrien, sinking her claws into his arm. I think the English expression was… I swear I read a book about it. Something with red A…” She pressed a finger to her lips, acting like she was trying to remember. “Ah! Scarlet Woman.” She grinned. “That’s what you are, Lie-la. A scarlet woman using men to get what you want.” That was vicious even for Chloe. Adrien took the opportunity to push the fuming girl away and get back. He could admire the chaos that was about to happen very soon. 

To their surprise, Lila calmed herself and giggled. 

“ah! Silly Dami-boo! I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I thought we were always just friends. It must’ve been one big misunderstanding” 

The people around started to nod their heads, accepting what she said as plausible. Damian Wayne wouldn’t be the first to get the wrong idea. At least until their phones buzzed. Chloe was smirking.

“Misunderstanding? This declarations of love say something different though. I seem to remember there was even some talk about a ring.”

Lila checked her phone and her eyes went wide. There were messages that looked like from her. That witch even replicated her speech pattern. It was much better forgery than what she did with Maribrat.

“Lila?” Nino stared at her in disbelief.

“I’m disappointed. After all this time together.” Damian shook his head. He pulled a small bracelet off and tossed it at her. “Consider this a break-up.”

Chloe smiled. “So you are free now.” She asked him. Damian saw the predatory grin and felt a sudden need to run. But he knew that the witch was not yet destroyed. 

“Yes…” 

“What say I concede that the cake incident was entirely Drake’s fault. If you take me for a coffee after work?”

Damian gave a distraught Lila a look of hatred. Then, he turned back to Chloe. 

“I would like that. Does 4:30 pm works for you?”

“I should be free by then.” She smiled. “It’s a date.”

With that, she left with Damian toward the elevator. Lila had enough of it and stormed to the bathroom. Soon after that, a shriek of frustration filled the building. Since it sounded like the bratty intern, nobody cared enough. The class was not allowed to leave their posts, not that too many of them wanted to be near Lila at the moment. They had many things to think about.

Damian and Chloe sat in the Law department, both having a satisfied grin. It was totally worth it.

“Just to be clear. I still hate you.” He said to her. 

“Same here.”

“To the Liar’s fall.” They raised a cookie each and bit in. Most people that saw them had to check again because the Ice Prince was actually hanging around someone his age. 

--------

Mari managed to record the shriek and now used it as Lila’s ringtone. It was a nice mid-day surprise that brightened her day. It lasted all beautiful hour until Marleen White, the head of PR, started knocking on the elevator, demanding to see her. Given her state and that she didn’t even call, it was something urgent. Mari quickly let her in.

“We have a huge problem.” She tossed a folder full of pictures on her desk. There were prints of chat screens with various dates. The content was most troubling. 

“I assume someone leaked it to the press?” She shrugged. 

“How can you be calm? It’s a disaster!” 

“They are fake.” Mari shrugged again.

“Fake?”

“A. That’s not Lila’s number on any of her four mobile phones. B. I have no idea who made it, but they have no idea how Damian Wayne acts. It’s straight up the same bullshit she will be facing a lawsuit for once the Law Department gets through the tons of paperwork. And C. This is an American number. Lila had no way of getting it three years ago. Plus the timing is too perfect. She gets punishment from the company and then the scandal with her dating youngest Wayne gets out. Whoever made it settled on fast, not precise.” Mari circled things on the prints.

“So it’s all fake?”

“I suspect she wanted revenge on the company for the extra work I had her be assigned.” Mari grinned at the memory of the shriek. “Or, someone’s doing it in her name.” For a moment her thoughts wandered to Chloe. She would have to speak to her soon.

“We will deny it and post all of the details you highlighted. The tabloids might still latch on it.”

“To be honest, I think it will be better than being dragged through the mud for the deaths. Especially since there was no story attached. Personally, I can’t care less about celebrity romance.” She dismissed the concern. It pained her a bit to speak about the dead in such a dismissive manner, but through the day she slowly absorbed that it was not her fault. She couldn’t blame herself. That’s what Marinette would do. Marinette was left in Paris by the irritating classmates and had her luggage (full of Adrien’s cheese-stinking socks) sent to India or somewhere. 

“That’s… quite a good idea. I assume you will want this forwarded to the Law department to add to the lawsuit.” 

“No point. It’s fake and we have no proof who leaked it. I’m plenty certain we have nothing or that person would already be sitting in HR.”

“The IT is looking into it, but they have little hopes. It went through an external server that we can’t get access to legally. Whoever leaked it was smart enough to avoid easy detection.”

“Good. By the way, what about that statement?”

“I sent it to your email.”

“I see it. I will read it and send you eventual suggestions.” 

“Sure. It’s nice to have someone competent in place.”

“I thought Mr. Drake was quite a good CEO. He got this company from the hole back to the top?” She tried to remember what she knew about Wayne Enterprises and Wayne Tech

“Yeah, but he is… eccentric. And can disappear at weird times for hours only to then work through three days without sleep”

“Oh. And Sarah was unhelpful?” Mari winced, remembering her own runs when the deadlines approached and she realized she spent the whole week constantly fighting Akumas. 

“She was good with people, but…” 

“I get it.” Mari smiled. “Luckily, I have experience with babysitting.”

Both women cackled at that.

------------

Once Marleen was gone, Mari quickly called Chloe’s phone. The girl picked up almost immediately. She was speaking to someone. 

“I hope I’m not interrupting your work?”

“Don’t worry Mari-bear. I was just speaking with my newest side-kick.”

“Tt. I’m not a sidekick!” A voice came from next to her. Mari tried to resist the urge to facepalm. Chloe tilted the phone to show a pouting Damian Wayne. 

“Shut up Sidekick. I’m the mastermind behind our plans.”

“And I pay for them with my image and sanity.” He replied. 

“Hush you! I will let you know that some people would kill for the opportunity.” 

“Tt. Right now I want to kill someone.” 

“Har har. So funny, are you?”

“As much as I enjoy watching you two flirt… Get a room.” Marigold joked, watching both of them blush red. Before either had a chance to attack her for implying anything, she continued. “Chloe. Did you per any chance fabricated and published texts between Damian and the Liar?”

“Wait! That bitch actually published it?”

Mari facepalmed. She could feel the headache coming. In the hindsight, maybe it would’ve been better to just fire Lila’s sorry ass, together with the rest of the bunch. She could easily have Adrien and Chloe hired on some less permanent deal. They could both do without school for a while.

“Tt. Now I will really need my blade. Please tell me that nobody believed it?” Damian asked, frowning. 

“You’re in luck. Madame White caught the wind of it quick enough. She will be making a swift statement that this is an attack on your person and the image of Waynes as a whole. Plus publishing a detailed analysis of why it couldn’t have been you.” Bluenette reassured him that his precious reputation would not take any great hits. Or not too great of a hit at least.

“Good. Jon wouldn’t let me live it down.” He sighed in relief.

“Now, Chlo. You know I love and support your deviousness, but please try and limit the civilian casualties of your future plans.”

“Fine. I can’t promise Lila’s retaliation to follow the same rules.” She huffed.

“Good. You’ve got any plans for the afternoon?”

“She is already otherwise occupied.” Damian quickly interceeded. He might not like the blonde much, but his honor demanded that if he actually invited her for a date, he did his best.

“I will leave you to your scheming then. Or whatever else you are doing” Mari quickly hanged up on the couple before they could scream at her. She saw a bit of blush enter both of their faces so she counted it as a win. 

---------

The rest of the day passed relatively quickly. Tim Drake did not show for work, so she had to handle the paperwork herself. She never imagined how much work went into organizing one press conference. Sarah did absolutely nothing about it before she quit. Her biggest problem was that she needed to have it happen outside of WE since several journalists expressed their concerns about security. Now she was being hard-pressed to find a separate convention center. Except that things were expensive and Finances were definitely not being helpful. She posted the task to one of their employees. He would send her the offers before the day was up, but there was a slight delay and she would have to wait until four. Mari decided that she can wait and have it done that day. 

She informed Chloe and their teacher that she had to stay in the office after hours and get it done so they wouldn’t worry. Then, she dived into making what felt like dozens of phone calls. Out of four serious offers, three would actually pass the standards set by Mr. Drake in the email he oh so graciously sent her in response to a question about the situation. It was six when she actually got done with the negotiations, but the satisfaction was immense. The final price was ten percent lower than what she initially aimed for, so she had more funds for other things. The guest list was also reviewed in the meantime and already sent back, so that was one more thing crossed out of the list. 

After being done, she bid farewell to the receptionist near the entrance and went to the Taxi she called before leaving. It was already waiting, which was a nice boon for the end of the day. Her next stop was not the hotel though. She gave the address in the seedier part of town. Her old address to be precise.

----------

“Are you sure Ma’am?” The taxi driver asked unconvinced. “I mean it’s not the safest part of town.”

“Don’t worry. I can take care of myself. Besides, my mother used to live here.” She gave him a bright smile. 

“If you say so…” He shrugged and stopped before a rundown building. Moss and ivy had already overgrown this place a long time ago, but the plants seemed… unhealthy. Like they were left to fend on their own for too long. It was not a good sign.

Hesitating for a moment, Mari entered the building. She was hesitant, even though technically her mother was the owner. The ground floor was empty if one ignored several dozen wild plants in various states of growth. Some were dried and dead, while some others were lush and domineering. It used to be well-kept and ordered inside the garden that she and her mother tended to. She would fix that after she found her mother. 

The second floor was not much better. The dust everywhere was indication enough that Pamela Isley moved out long ago. Probably even years. Mari walked around, reminiscing about her childhood. It was not what one would call ordinary, but she would never settle for it anyway. She loved learning about plants with her mother. The martial arts lessons with uncle Wilson when he had time. Science with uncle Victor or her mother. Even the math with uncle Floyd. And Allegra and Claude were there to keep her company. 

Slowly, she trailed to her mother’s room. She hoped to find something useful there. She definitely did not expect to have to block a giant mallet with blue and red stripes. Ducking under it, she delivered a quick kick before running to the stairs. Mari dashed downstairs and burst onto the street. The Taxi driver actually waited for her. He was a godsend at this moment. She quickly jumped inside and ordered him to go.

“So? Unwelcome guests?” he asked a bit more cheeky than she would’ve liked. 

“Yes. But apparently my mom didn’t live there is some time.” Mari answered in a bitter tone. 

“Shame. Hope you have better luck, next time lass.” They rode in silence for a moment. “Name’s Chas by the way. Chas Chandler.”

“Marinette.” She smiled at the man. “Thank you for waiting. I would’ve probably been in a worse situation if not for you.” Mari did not add that the worse situation was ordering the wild plants to defend her. She worked with the wild plants maybe twice before and they didn’t listen that well to orders. 

“Where to now?”

Mari gave him the name of the hotel. When they arrived, she paid him and gave him a rather generous tip for the work. It was already dark, but apparently Chloe was not yet here. The class was supposed to be visiting some local museum or whatever. It’s not like she cared. 

When Marigold entered her room, there was a large book sitting on her bed. Tikki immediately zoomed out of her pocket and toward it. she hovered over for a moment before she huffed. 

“Of course he would do that. He is an idiot though. I would be a much better teacher.”

“Who are you talking about?” Mari asked the small goddess.

“No one!” Kwami said quickly and in a bit higher tone. The bluenette could’ve sworn she saw Tikki get even redder than before. 

“Okay… And what’s that? Nothing dangerous I hope?”

“It’s… it’s a spellbook.” Tikki said after hesitating a bit.

“Like magic?”

“Yeah.”

“Who would leave me a spellbook without as much as a note?” Mari asked. She could see Tikki was conflicted.

“I can’t say.” She finally let go of air. “I made a promise that I would keep the secret.”

“Fine. You’re sure it’s safe?”

“Yeah, but Magic is dangerous. You should only do it with some supervision.” Tikki warned her.

“Good thing I have you then.” Marigold grinned. 

“Mari! You know I can’t exactly just…” Tikki paused. “You know what, it’s actually not a bad idea. I can teach you some simple stuff for the starters.” 

“Huh? I actually expected you to be against it.”

“I trust you to act responsibly. And as a Guardian, you probably should start learning magic anyway.”

“Let’s get started then. Please tell me I can curse Lie-la!”

-------

NEXT